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November 8, 2009 - November 21, 2009

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Photo Courtesy of Retro Raunch

I think this photo was shot sometime in the 1960's.

Technically, this is a pretty boring photo - no fancy lighting, no shadows, no contrast - not even nice composition. So what is there to say about the technical aspect of the photo? Hmmm... The corrugated cardboard in the background that looks to be peeling off of the wall is pretty kewl. That's about it...

The model is okay. But with the angle and the wide angle lens that the photographer shot her with, she deffo looks like she has an enormous right arm. LOL... Let's just chalk that up to bad photography... Actually, now that I look even closer, she has a pretty "healthy" right thigh as well. Maybe she only worked out on her right side... Hahaha... Anyway, she is not too bad. I don't care for the hair style but otherwise... she looks to be in her late twenties, has a nice face, beautiful & full BJ lips, good sized firm & round boobs, nice butt, thick legs, and even though she is sucking in her gut, she has a nice well proportioned figure.

Anyway, the technical aspect of the photo pretty much sucks... And the model? Ya, I would love to be crushed between her thick & meaty (muscular) thighs during a hard-bangin' sex romp... But, to be honest, I am kinda concerned about her enormous right arm - scary :o)
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Friday, November 20, 2009 Friday Afternoon Westerns Kidnapped      Jim Sutton gazed over the dry hump of dirt, down at the confusion below. Four men, Mexican bandits by the look of them, were having their way with a slender black-haired beauty. Her horse stood slapping at flies in unconcern. The other horses were ground-hitched near the water hole. He counted silently, pointing at each with his finger. His scalp bristled when he counted five horses all standing together. There were only four men down below. Where was the fifth?      Jim took a quick look around, then centered his attention on the woman. She was some looker, Jim thought. Probably half white and half Mexican by the look of her. There were only a few women in the area who would fit that description. The nearest was Layla Hernandes, from the Double X ranch. Her father was white and mother Mexican, if he remembered right.      The leader of the gang suddenly grabbed the back of the woman's dress and pulled. Her chest was laid bare. Her arms went across her beautiful breasts. With another yank she stood naked in the mid-day sun. Somehow she looked natural, all tanned and beautiful, stark naked in the middle of nowhere.      Jim started to rise, when he felt the tip of a rifle touch his left ear. His pistol was yanked from his holster. He raised his hands, mustered a smile and turned to face his captor.      "Compadre," he said genially.      "I don't know you," the dirty man said. He was missing a front tooth. His hair was long and uncurried. The poncho he wore was made from an old Indian blanket. The only clean thing about him was the rifle in his hands, and the sparkling cartridges in his gun belt. A bone handled revolver, probably stolen, protruded from a hand-tooled holster. A pair of California spurs were tied together and resting over his right shoulder. That explained the lack of noise, he thought, looking down at the man's boots.      "Compadre, we are on the same side. I was just about to go down and see if your friends would allow me to join them," Jim lied.      "Go now," the man signaled with the tip of his rifle. Jim started down. The men stopped, suddenly wary. They looked around, then looked back at Jim. Jim knew how a Sunday chicken felt, he was about to be roasted.      "This man says he wants to play," the dirty man spoke in a loud voice. The woman gasped and turned, a look of hope filling her face. She stared around at the hilltops, with her arms covering her nakedness. A look of disappointment filled her eyes as she looked back at Jim.      "Why are you here, gringo," the leader of the men asked, pulling his knife as he advanced.      "For her," Jim snorted. "I've never seen such a beautiful woman. Hell, I'd give up half my gold for an hour with her."      "Gold?" the man's interest peeked. "What gold?" he asked in a deceptively mild voice.      "The Army shipment. You must have heard about it, it was in all the papers," he said, knowing the man probably could not read, but would never admit it. "I got away with nearly a ton of gold."      "A ton," the man's eyes bugged out. "Where?"      "Seven days south of here, in a box canyon. It's in a little dugout that I made myself. Damned good job too, you could never find it unless you knew where it was. Hey, can I dally with her?" he asked, faking impatience.      "Maybe," the man said, waving the knife in front of his face. "First tell me more about the gold," he said. His greedy eyes flashed from one of his companions to the others. A slight smile crossed his face. "We were going to ransom this woman," he laughed, "but for a ton of gold we could kill her and forget about the ransom."      "Kill her!" Jim said in alarm. "No, I want her."      "Very well, but you will be last," he said, tossing the knife into the ground. He bent and picked it up. Two halves of a scorpion lay kicking in the dirt. Jim swallowed and tried to smile.      "Amigos, hold her," the leader said. They dragged her back to the blanket, which someone had laid out on the ground. She screamed and kicked at them, but they only laughed.      Jim was prodded forward by the rifle. He hurried forward, his eyes glued to her darkly furred pussy, centered between some of the prettiest legs he had ever seen. She saw him looking and glared, then spat. He smiled and sat cross legged next to the blanket. He dodged as her bare foot tried to smash into his face, barely missing his nose.      He grabbed the foot, kissed it tenderly, then let go and dodged a second kick.      "Hold that foot," the leader said to Jim as he undid his pants. Jim grabbed twice before he held the struggling foot in his hands. Her pussy was absolutely delectable. Her breasts jiggled as she struggled between the five men. Her pussy was open and pink. Jim licked his lips and sighed. He had a long wait before his turn came around.      "She's going to like this," the leader said as he pushed down his pants. "I had a calf when I was young, he made me the man I am today," the man howled, holding out a ten inch long cock. He wagged it, eliciting howls of laughter from his men. Layla stopped and gasped at the huge cock, before she remembered to struggle again. She seemed to struggle far less as he knelt between her legs, positioned the pointed end of his cock and shoved. She screamed as he penetrated her inviting pussy. With a moan of pleasure he began pumping in and out of her helpless mound.      Jim watched, awestruck. He no longer needed to hold the foot, she had stopped struggling. In a moment she was moaning along with the leader. He pumped savagely, slamming his ten inches of meat into her quivering flesh. And she arched up off the ground and pushed to meet him with each stroke. The man had been right, she was enjoying it.      "Wait, let me join in," one of the other men said. He held up a hand and the leader stopped pumping. He pulled out and the other man rolled Layla over on her side. With her knees drawn up to her chin, her pussy and ass lay open, inviting.      Jim's cock was rock hard. If he didn't worry about her biting it off, he might of had her suck his cock. But he was too smart for that. The leader held her legs up in front of her as she lay on her side. He slid closer and entered her moist pussy from in front. The second man, now pantsless, slid up behind her. His cock fenced with the leader's for a moment, getting it well lubricated, before he pressed it against the entrance to her ass. Jim could see her pause and look back, waiting to see how the combination felt. She didn't have long to wait. The man's lubricated cock slid easily into her ass. She cried out a little, then bucked between them. The leader reached out and mashed the woman's breasts in his hands. He again marveled at her beauty, even though her face was twisted in bliss.      Jim was dying from restrained lust. His cock was leaking in his pants. He could feel a cold wet spot in the front. He looked forlornly at the three men still waiting. How could he survive such a long wait?      The leader began panting loudly, intensifying his attack. It was only a moment before he groaned and shuddered. His cock emptied it's contents into Layla's wet pussy. She looked disappointed, but the next man stepped up. His cock was only about 6 inches long, but she didn't care, as long as somebody fucked her.      The man behind her was working furiously. The faster he pumped into her ass, the hotter the friction, and the pleasure, grew. In three minutes he cried out and stiffened. His crotch smashed into the woman's ass as he orgasmed. She pushed her slender ass back to meet him, then cried out in disappointment when he pulled out. A streamer of cum glistened between her ass and the ground.      The next man slid closer, used a dirty bandanna to wipe her shapely ass, and thrust his cock inside her.      "Oh yes," she cried, feeling full and contented as the two cocks pumped away in her bottom. She looked back and locked eyes with Jim. The man fucking her pussy groaned and pumped faster. The slap of naked flesh was loud and erotic. Layla's eyes clouded over, but she continued to gaze at Jim.      "I think she likes you," the leader teased.      "She's very beautiful," Jim said simply.      "She is," the leader agreed. And don't worry, you are next. The breed doesn't like women. In fact, he doesn't like anybody," the man laughed pointing at the dirty man behind Jim. He looked back to see how the breed was taking such ribbing. Either the leader was very fast with a gun, or well liked by his men. The breed colored, but said nothing. He scuffed his foot and turned away. Jim looked around quickly, assessing the situation. The leader had no pants, and no gun. The second man lay next to the blanket, still recovering as he watched his friends fuck the beautiful woman. The breed was sulking and paying no attention to anybody. Suddenly Jim acted. He leaped to his feet and pulled the rifle out of the breed's hands. The breed went for his pistol, but it was tied down. Jim shot him long before he yanked it free.      Jim spun around. The leader, in the act of reaching for his gun, froze. The men fucking Layla lay still. He had them cold. He glanced at Layla and saw the look of desperation in her eyes.      "Finish fucking her," Jim said, letting the rifle hang from his elbow. She gasped out in sudden hope, then moaned as the men continued their actions. It took them all only a moment to cum. Layla screamed loud enough to be heard in El Paso... well almost.      She shuddered between the two men as they emptied their cum in the appropriate crevices. She finally pushed them away and stood. She took a canteen and moved away from the men. Spreading her legs, she washed her pussy and ass with handfuls of water. The men watched, giving her their full attention.      "Well?" she asked, looking at Jim.      "Well what?"      "It's your turn," she said impatiently.      "I'm not here to rape you, I came to rescue you."      "Shit," she said, stomping her foot in disappointment. Her breasts jiggled on her chest, causing the men to groan in restrained passion.      "There was no gold," the leader said with a sheepish grin.      "No, no gold," Jim admitted. "Now I want you men to get dressed, but leave the guns were they are. I'm taking them with me. I'm going to scatter your horses, you can chase them down later.      "Layla, can you saddle my horse, it's about 100 yards behind us."      "Sure," she said in obvious disappointment.      "You are not going to turn us in?" the leader asked with a sly smile.      "After the show you put on. Hell no," Jim laughed.      "Gracious," the man said. Come on boys, let's take a walk," he said, leading the way toward the south. "We'll meet again some other time," the leader called.      "And welcome," Jim called. He turned and looked at the body. It was up to him to give it a burial. He kicked dirt over the body. Five minutes later Layla led his horse into the clearing. He picked up several rocks and threw them at the horses. They took off toward the north.      "What now?" Layla asked, gazing forlornly at the retreating men.      "Now? Now I am going to take you to a little cabin up in those mountains. We are going to fish, hunt and fuck to our heart's content."      "Are we?" she asked in sudden interest.      "We are," he slapped the reins over his horses ass.      "Hey, you didn't have a calf..." she trailed off in sudden embarrassment.      "Some of us don't need one, Layla," he smiled as they rode away. THE END! . posted by: Neo . Sex Tales of the Old West - Antique Porn & Erotic Western Stories .

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Thursday, November 19, 2009

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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Sleepy Sex Fetish
 

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Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Pervert Jack - The Lovable Pervert

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Titty Tuesday

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Monday, November 16, 2009

Monday Toons

Three Rude Jokes

1. The Pope was getting into his limo one night when he turned to the limo driver and said, "Before I die, I would love to drive this beautiful limo just once."  "Well, here," the limo driver says, "Take the wheel, Your Holiness!"  Further down the road, the limo is stopped by a policeman who looks in the window, goes back to his squad car, calls dispatch and says, "I just pulled over someone real important and I don't know what to do."  "Well, who is it?" his dispatcher says, "The mayor? The governor? The president?"  "I don't know," the officer responds, "but the Pope's his chauffeur!"

2. A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all." "Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids".

3. Sean Connery gets a call from his agent one day. The agent goes "Sean, I've got you a job, starts tomorrow, early. You'll have to be there for 10-ish". Sean furrows his brow and says "Tennish? but I don't even have a racket."
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Sunday, November 15, 2009

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Saturday, November 14, 2009

I'd Hit It!

Mmmm... Aubrey Addams

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Cheezy & Sleazy Pick-up Lines
 

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Antique Erotica
 

Photo Courtesy of Retro Raunch

I think this photo was shot sometime in the 1960's.

Technically, this is a pretty boring photo - no fancy lighting, no shadows, no contrast, not really much to talk about... But, I do like the composition; though I would have liked it better if the model's feet were completely in frame AND in the lower left frame instead of the middle of the left frame.

The model is ok... I am not a big fan of the hair-do, but other than that she has nice legs, slender waist, nice tits, and she is not too bad looking either. And I also like the fact that it is obviously an office setting and the model is wearing nothing but fish-net thigh-highs, black heels, and white opera gloves. I am sure that there is a great story here about inner-office sex between the boss and the secretary.

Anyway, the technical aspect of the photo is pretty boring and not worth discussing... But the model is deffo an employee that I would love to work late with :o)
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Friday, November 13, 2009 Friday the 13th - Friday Frights Witch Doctor --- One ---  In the oldest part of New Orleans, there lived an old black man. People for several generations have called him Papa Jimbo and even he has forgotten his real name. He was sought when somebody wanted a charm for protection or a love potion. For a small fee, Papa Jimbo could make anything happen.  So it was no surprised when Ricky showed up at his small dingy apartment one day in late September. The young man was nervous at seeing the old man but he insisted that it was very important. Ricky was in early twenties and looked like a clean-cut all-American white boy.  "You have the price that we agreed on over the phone?" Papa Jimbo asked.  Ricky nodded and fished into his jean pocket for a large wad of bills.  "Three hundred," he replied. "Are you sure you can do this?"  The old man nodded and took the money. He reached for a bottle that was on the table next to him.  "Take this and rub it in once a day," Papa Jimbo said as he handed Ricky the bottle. "No more than once a day no matter how pleasing the results are. You must not rush the process."  Ricky took the bottle and noticed it was an old beer bottle that had the label peeled off. On a piece of masking tape was written: ENLARGER.  "Thank you, Papa Jimbo," Ricky said before he turned and left.  --- Two ---  As soon as Ricky returned to his college dorm room, he stripped and looked at his pathetic two-inch penis. He poured some of the creamy white liquid from the bottle he had gotten from the old black witch doctor. Ricky's dick tingled as he rubbed it on. It felt cool and warm at the same time.  Ricky couldn't help but masturbate as his penis started growing hard. Instead of growing an additional inch as usual, his dick instantly shot to three inches. It was also thicker than before.  "Damn shit actually works," Ricky moaned as he increased his pumping.  He soon shot his load onto a worn-out sock. The climax was so unbelievable and intense that he couldn't wait to see Lisa tomorrow night. Boy, did he have a surprise for her.  --- Three ---  Ricky went through the next day's classes much happier than he had ever been before. His afternoon job of stocking a local store's shelves seemed to drag on but he seemed too preoccupied with trying the enlarger lotion again as soon as he got off work.  Once again, Ricky found himself wanting to masturbate when he rubbed the lotion on his now three-inch cock. As he grew hard, he found that he was able to achieve four inches.  Too bad I don't have another day for another application, Ricky thought to himself as he pumped his prick. Then my cock would be almost normal.  He shot his load onto the old worn-out sock again with intensity. Ricky was about to dress for the date when he changed his mind and applied some more lotion onto his cock. He became hard instantly and shot up to six inches.  Ricky started jerking off again but found that he couldn't shoot his load. The time to pick up Lisa was approaching and he still had to get dressed. He quickly got dressed despite his hard-on and hoped it would go down. Ricky grabbed a few condoms from his dresser before heading out the door.  --- Four ---  He was fifteen minutes late picking up Lisa at her parent's house. Ricky had to walk slowly and carefully with his hard cock. Driving was even harder for his cock had started to itch and his pants felt very tight in the crotch.  Lisa climbed into the car and gave Ricky a quick peck.  "There's something I want to show you," they both said at the same time.  They both laughed together and he insisted that she go first.  "Let's go back to your dorm room instead of eating something first," Lisa said as Ricky pulled the car away from the curb. "I've got something great to show you."  "So do I, hon.," Ricky said with a smile.  --- Five ---  When the couple entered Ricky's dorm room, Lisa immediately fell into his arms. They kissed passionately and almost tore each other's clothes off. They saved their underwear for last.  "I've got a surprise for you," Ricky said as he slowly dropped his briefs.  His cock was at least seven inches long and an inch in diameter. Lisa gasped in awe of at the sight then she started crying.  "What's wrong?" Ricky asked stepping out of his briefs.  "This," she said as she took off her white lacy panties.  Her once beautiful puffy, pussy lips were now smaller. Lisa's vagina opening looked much smaller than a week ago when he last saw it. If Ricky tried fucking her now, he would tear her up even if it did stretch.  "I went to a witch doctor last night," Lisa said between sobs. "He gave me a lotion to shrink up my vagina opening."  Ricky stood there dumbfounded with his hard cock sticking straight out. He noticed that it had grown another two inches. THE END! . posted by: Neo . Stories & Cartoons of Vampires & Werewolves. Gothic Erotica at its Best! . Comics & Violent, Hardcore Tales of Terror & Brutal Macabre Sex Scenes! .

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Thursday, November 12, 2009

Sneak Peek Preview - Blogger Babe - Hillary Scott
 

Cumming in Two Weeks

Hillary Scott

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"Porn Jester's Asian Girls" - Exclusive pictures of hot & horny Asian teens spreading their legs wide & showing nice tight pink pussy. Plus hardcore adult cartoons and steamy erotic stories.

"Porn Jester's Asian Girls" features over 50 galleries of Asian Schoolgirls, Porn Stars, Cheerleaders, Lesbians and just some really sweet & cute Asian Teens. Plus erotic stories, adult cartoons and of course, 1000's of photos of sexy Asian girls - posing, teasing, masturbating and showing you the secrets of the Orient. "Porn Jester's Asian Girls" has a nice, clean, simple, and easy to navigate design with many free samples to check out. The layout is very surfer friendly; there are no hidden links, no consoles, no entrapments of any kind, and banner advertising is kept to a strict minimum. Plus, it's an "Adult Check Gold" site; which means - it's a very high quality site. When you become an AC member, you get FREE access to all the Porn Jester sites PLUS you also get FREE access to over 300,000 other high quality Adult Check sites and FREE access to the "EXCLUSIVE" Adult Check Members Area where you'll find even more high quality photo galleries, live cam feeds, exclusive DVD downloads and much more. So check out "Porn Jester's Asian Girls". You won't be disappointed.

"ProsTiToons" - Hilarious adult comics about the world's oldest profession. Featuring hardcore hookers, skanky ho's, 3D toons, sexy streetwalkers, hentai whores, naughty pin-ups, cum loving call girls, funny flash movies, big titty bukkake bimbos & underground comix illustrated by today's top artists.

"ProsTiToons" features many full galleries of extreme, graphic, hardcore adult cartoons. Plus hard to find uncensored, underground comix, 3d toons, street walker stories, pimps, horny hentai hotties, animated bukkake babes, big titty toons, naughty pen & ink pin-ups, anime, manga, special "Stripper Toons," exclusive "ProsTiToons" & "Pervert Jack" galleries, flash movies and tons of high quality art; all illustrated by today's top artists. "ProsTiToons" has great and very colorful outside splash pages. These samples only give the surfer a taste of all the goodies that await once they become a member. The site has a nice, clean and simple design. The layout  is very surfer friendly and easy to navigate with no hidden links, no consoles, no entrapments of any kind, and banner advertising is kept to a strict minimum. Plus, it's an "CyberAge Platinum" site; which means - it is a very high quality site. When you become an CyberAge Platinum Member, you get FREE access to all the CyberAge sites - that's over 300,000 sites. And you also get FREE access to all the "EXCLUSIVE" CyberAge features; XXX Movies, Live Cam Feeds, CyberAge Personals, Live Chat - 24/7, Model of the Week Galleries and so much more. So give "ProsTiToons" a click.

"Blush Toons / Anime Girls" - Funny X-rated adult cartoons, action-packed anime, hardcore hentai, bukkake babes, naughty pin-ups, funny flash movies, 3D toons and uncensored, underground Manga Comics - all illustrated by today's top artist. Plus exclusive Pervert Jack galleries, Stripper Toons, Prostitoons and much, much more.

"Blush Toons / Anime Girls" features many full galleries of extreme, graphic, hardcore & very funny adult cartoons. Plus hard to find uncensored, underground manga comix, real Japanese anime, bishoujo babes, cute kawaii porn, anime girls drenched in cum, shibari bondage toons, sexy blush babes, big titty dekapai cartoons, fantasy cosplay characters, exclusive "Stripper Toons" galleries, exclusive "ProsTiToons" comics, exclusive "Pervert Jack" comix, and tons of high quality art; illustrated by today's top artists. "Blush Toons / Anime Girls" has great and very colorful outside splash pages with free tours and tons of free samples. These samples only give the surfer a taste of all the goodies that await once they become a member. The site has a very nice, clean and simple design. The layout is very surfer friendly and easy to navigate with no hidden links, no consoles, no entrapments of any kind, and banner advertising is kept to a strict minimum. Plus, it's an "Adult Check Gold" site; which means - it's a very high quality site. When you become an AC member you get FREE access to ALL the high quality "Adult Check Sites" (which now total over 300,000) and you get FREE access to the "EXCLUSIVE" Adult Check Members Area where you'll find even more high quality photo galleries, live cam feeds, exclusive DVD downloads and much more. It's a great anime / toons site with tonnes of content and if I didn't already own this site, I would certainly buy a membership.
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Cuntoons - Cunts + Toons = Cuntoons
 

www.Cuntoons.com

Cuntoons is one of the first and original cartoon porn sites on the net. Up and running for over ten years strong with fresh and new adult cartoon content added monthly. Cuntoons has XXX Adult Comic Books, Illustrated Erotic Stories, Flash Movies, 3D Porn, Uncensored, Underground Comix, Hardcore Hentai, Japanese Anime, Manga Comics, and Lots More.
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Masturbation Mirror @ www.MasturbationMirror.com
 

Masturbation Mirror

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Sleepy Sex Fetish @ www.SleepySexFetish.com
 

Barefoot Sleepy Girls

"Sleepy Sex Fetish" - Somnophilia Sleeping Sex Fantasy. Sexy women and barely legal teen girls getting fucked in their sleep. An adult "Sleeping Girl" website.
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Featured Artist - Patty - A Creative Spanko Wench
 

Sleepy Toons @ www.SleepyToons.com
 

Sleepy Toons Exclusive Sleep Fetish Cartoons

"Sleepy Toons" - Mega adult cartoon site featuring exclusive hardcore sleepysex comics, x-rated fairy tales, uncensored 3D toons, sleeping anime & hentai girls, naughty sleep fetish comix, fantasy sleep carry pin-ups, and erotic, controversial sleep themed paintings - painted by the Master's themselves. Plus exclusive Pervert Jack galleries and much more.
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Face Down, Ass Up is How We Like to Fuck
 

Doggy Style Divas

Yummy Blogger Babes
 

Blog Babe

Paris Waters

Tramp Stamps
 

Tramp Stamps - Tattooed Teens

Sleep Carry
 

Sleep Carry Innocent Damsels in Distress Carried to Safety... or Torment! Sleep Carry is a FREE "Lift & Carry" site for the Hero, Villain (or Pervert) in all of us. Photo Galleries / Cartoons / Stories

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

You give me a little CASH. I give you a lot of PORN - It's simple, very straight forward and a great money-saving deal.

Pervert Jack - The Lovable Pervert

Poetry - BODY SHARING
 

Gothic Horror Tales @ www.GothicHorrorTales.com
 

Gothic Horror Tales

Nude Latina Teens @ www.NudeLatinaTeens.com
 

Nude Latina Teens

Barely legal 18 & 19 year old Latina Teens, Naughty Spanish Schoolgirls and Sexy Mexican Cheerleaders getting naked, spreading wide and showing nice, tight, pink, teen pussy.
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Sexy Adult Cartoons & Erotic Pin Up Art
 

Crazy Comix

Fetish & Bondage Gear by Eros Boutique
 

Fetish Clothing & Bondage Gear Supplied by Eros Boutique

Metal Leg Spreader & Metal Yoke Restraint System Supplied by Eros Boutique

The Metal Leg Spreader & Metal Yoke Restraint System were supplied for the photo shoot by Eros Boutique – a great place for all your sexual fantasies - Eros Boutique.
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Toon Tuesday

I love erotic toons!
 

Pregnant Comix	Cuntoons	Sex-Fi Erotica
Crazy Comix	Stripper Toons	Tales of Death
Gothic Horror Tales	Kinky Komix	Trenchcoat Diaries
Triple X Toons	PJ's Adult Toons	Christmas Toons
Crime Toons	Urabon Yuri	Undercover Stripper
ProsTiToons	Blush Toons	Detective Comix
Sleepy Toons		Pervert Jack

Cunts + Toons = Cuntoons - X-Rated Adult Comix, 3D Sex Toons

Monday, November 9, 2009

Women in Uniform
 

Monday Toons

Three Adult Jokes

1. A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-Mart "associate" standing there with dark shades on. She says, "Excuse me sir... can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am I'm blind but if you will drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes." She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway. He said, "That's a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line... It's a good all around rod and reel and it's $20.00". She says, "That's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it." He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman breaks wind big-time. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her... being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50." She says, "But didn't you say it was $20.00?" He says, "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50."

2. A blond was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop. The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?" The blond said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!" The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that's your air freshener!"

3. A married man was having an affair with his secretary.  One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon.  Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.  The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.  He put on his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" his wife demanded.  "I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary.  We had sex all afternoon."  She looked down at his shoes and said: "You big liar!  You've been playing golf!"
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Triple X Cams - Web Cam Sluts & College Girls
 

Triple X Cams

Movie Monday - One Password - 1000's of Movies

Tonnes of Great Adult Movies & Sexy Hardcore Videos in Every Flavour...
 

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Sickos - Stay Home!

To all you sick mother fuckers out there... If you are sick, have the flu, a sore throat, are coughing, running a fever, throwing up, have the runs, or just don't feel good - then stay the fuck at home! Duh!... I, and I am pretty sure most everybody else in this world, do not want your fucking germs invading our bodies! Keep them to yourself!

Don't be that asshole that is sick with a cold or a flu and goes to the gym to "work it out of your system." Yeah, you know who you are! You stupid dick (or cunt as the case may be)... the only thing you're doing is working your germs into everyone else's systems. Stay home!

And don't be that moron that sits behind me in a theater, airplane, restaurant, or wherever trying not to cough on the back of my neck with your infected, warm and nasty green mucus smell. And then when you're not coughing, with every breath you take I hear you gurgling as the air tries make its way past the thick and dripping snot globs in your stuffed nose and red-raw throat. I don't want your sickness!

You diseased idiots, how can you be so fucking stupid and so inconsiderate of other people's health? You may like being ill, but I don't! So, why don't you use that little pea brain that God gave you and make at least one right decision in your pathetic little existence...  Stay home!

...and get well soon 
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Blogger Babes - Nautica & Viveana

Nautica is a very sexy 18 year old, 5’1, 100 lb, mixed Mexican muchacha. She has really long, waist-length, brown hair with blonde streaks, an adorable innocent face, sexy brown eyes with really long lashes, a playful smile, gorgeous, bedroom lips, a thin 34-24-34 body with a nice flat stomach, pierced belly-button, itty bitty titties with big brown nipples, a cute butt, the typical “Tramp Stamp” tattoo on her lower back, a nice “Cum-fuck-me” doggy-style arch, and a completely shaved pussy with big pink lipps.  (See this week's Blogger Babe Pics).
 

Porn Jester's Latina Girls

Viveana is a cute 18 year old, 5’4, 110 lb, mixed Mexican chica. She has wavy, middle-of-her-back, reddish-brown hair, a very cute baby face, sparkling brown eyes, very innocent & fun smile, yummy, kissable lips, a pierced tongue, pierced lips, a nice 34-24-34 body with a very lickable flat stomach, nicely shaped B-cup breasts with little pink & very suckable nipples, a firm butt, a great “Fuck-me-from-behind” Doggy Style arch, and a completely shaved pussy with nice pink lipps.  (See this week's Blogger Babe Pics).
 

Real Amateur Women

I saw Nautica's pic in an agent's book and my heart went thump, thump, thump. Oh my, she was so cute, so innocent, so should not be doing porn, so should do some non-adult, mainstream photos with me, so should fall in love with me, and so should be my little love slave. I called her agent immediately to set up an interview and he informed me that she was in high demand, but he would see what he could do. The next day the agent called, had Nautica on the phone and hooked me up with her. We talked, I flirted, gave her directions to my studio and she was on the way. – Woo-Hoo!
 

Cheerleaders & Teens in Uniform

Within an hour Nautica, with Manager (not agent), and another girl – Viveana, was at my door. I usually hate “Managers” that show up unannounced. Most “Managers” are usually just boyfriends with attitudes that don't know a taint from a twat about the biz, but this guy was pretty kewl. And the other girl - Viveana, she was deffo a babe and more than welcome. I invited them all in. We all sat around, talked, laughed, flirted, checked ID's, discussed the job, etc... Come to find out, Viveana is a model as well, wants to do adult work, and comes as a package deal with Nautica. I certainly didn't complain. But now I was in a quandary… Both girls were babes and I didn't know which one I wanted to be my “Sex Kitten”. Hmmm, maybe both. My fantasy world went into overdrive and I hired them both.
 

Nude Latina Teens

A couple of days later Nautica, Viveana, and the Manager showed up (on time) for the shoot. As we were filling out the required paperwork, I was informed that Nauitica had double booked herself and that I only had two hours to shoot her and then she had to rush off to another shoot. Dang! But the good news was that I had Viveana for the entire day. Ok, the Manager was out the door and will be returning in two hours. I really had to take a moment to rethink my shooting schedule… Nope, no time to think… Let's just start shooting. Of course I started shooting singles of Nautica. Even though she was an Amateur and this was one of her first still shoots, she was fun to work with and she did a good job going from pose to pose and rushing from one outfit to another. The only bad thing about working with her (besides the time limit) was that she could not stop blinking every time the flash went off. I swear, 1/3 of the shots we did she was in the middle of a blink. – LOL.
 

Victory Girls - Nude Women of the World

Anyway, in the two hours I had with Nautica we did three (3) single girl set-ups; Cheerleader, Schoolgirl and of course we did a Sleepy Sex Fetish scene. We actually moved very quick and completed these sets in a little over an hour. I still had an hour left, so I suggested that we do some girl/girl scenes. The girls were First Timers and had never done g/g, but were definitely up for it. So over the next hour we did five (5) girl girl lesbian scenes; Amateur with just the girls posing together, Cheerleader with the girls posing, laughing, playing and finally going sixty nine (69) & eating each other's pussy, a hot little Mistress / Slave Bondage scene with Viveana bound & gagged and Nautica dominating her – all Fetish Wear and Bondage Hardware were supplied for the shoot by Eros Boutique. We finished up our hour with two (2) Somnophilia scenes. But these were quite different than the usual Sleepy Sex Fetish scenes I shoot. These were girl/girl Somnophilia scenes. A first for me. The first one, I was just the cameraman and was not involved in the actual scene itself. It went like this; Nautica was asleep and Viveana came in, fondled, undressed and took advantage of her until she woke up, and then they had hot & wild “best friend” girl sex. The second Somno scene was again g/g, but this time I was more than just the cameraman. It went like this; Both girls were sound asleep (after having hot & heavy lesbian sex), I came in and like most of the Sleeping Girl Fantasy scenes, I undressed, then fondled & fingered the Sleeping Beauties until they woke up wet & willing. Mmmm, a nice little POV, double girl, BJ, finished out the scene – all fantasy of course.
 

Fetish Gear Supplied by Eros Boutique

Before I knew it, the two hours were up, the Manager was back and whisked Nautica away to her other shoot – leaving me alone with Viveana for the next few hours to finish out the day of shooting. We took a break, had lunch and then got back to work. Viveana was so much fun to work with. She had a great attitude, was willing to do anything and we got a lot done. We shot five (5) more scenes; Cheerleader with pom-poms (Oh my, her ass looked so fuckin’ hot in the short little skirt she was wearing – Yum!), posing in a Navy outfit, a Voyeur scene with Viveana masturbating with a red dildo, a Bondage scene with Viveana blindfolded & chained with wrist & ankle restraints, also used a set of Nipple Torture Tweezer Clamps – a first for her… she really liked them and didn't want me to remove them once we were done shooting the scene – The Tweezer Clamps & Bondage Gear were supplied for the shoot by Eros Boutique. Of course, we finished up the shoot with another Somnophilia SleepySex Fantasy scene. Mmmm…
 

Triple X Cams

After the shoot Viveana and I sat around, talked, looked at pics, discussed doing another shoot together and before we knew it, the Manager returned to pick her up. A few days later Viveana and the Manager were back, we looked at photos, she picked out some pictures that she liked, I burned her a CD and they left, promising that they would be in touch. 
 

Fetish Gear Supplied by Eros Boutique

Since then, I talked on the phone with Viveana a couple of times but we haven't gotten together again – well, at least not yet. Last I heard she was out of the porn biz – good for her. I left a couple of messages for Nautica, but she has not returned the calls. Last I heard she was still quite busy doing hardcore porn – so sad. The Manager and I have talked on the phone quite often and he has actually brought over quite a few models for me to meet and interview.
 

Somnophilia Barefoot Sleepy Girls

If you want to see more of Nautica and Viveana check out; "Porn Jester's Latina Girls," "Peep Hole Show," "Triple X Cams," "Sleepy Sex Fetish," and "Somnophilia – Sleeping Princess Syndrome."
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Porn Jester's Extreme Pregnant Girls - Knocked Up Beauties Knockin' Boots

I'm shooting a lot right now and I'm deffo looking for girls to photograph, so... If you're female, OVER 18 YEARS OF AGE, in the LA area, very cute and/or good looking and/or HOT, and are interested in posing nude for my websites, your own websites, for fun or just for some nice artistic photographs, please e-mail me with a description of yourself and a URL address where I can see a photo of you. If you're what I'm looking for, then you'll deffo hear back from me... and yes I would pay you to model for me. :o)

Please DO NOT send photos or files attached to your e-mails. They will be deleted!
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Looking for Adult Artists & Writers

If you're an artist and/or writer and would like to have your work featured here on Sex Blogger or one of my other Adult Story or Cartoon Sites: "Sex-Fi. Erotic Sci-Fi & Horror Sex Stories," "Crime Comix," "Cuntoons," "Pregnant Comix," "Erotic Pregnant & Plumper Stories," "Sex Tales of the Old West," "Triple X Toons," "Kinky Komix," "Illustrated Erotica," "Detective Cartoons," "Crazy Comix," "Blush Toons / Anime Girls / Hentai Babes" or one of the new Erotic Story or Adult Cartoon sites that I'm building, then please feel free to e-mail me with a SHORT sample of your writing or a URL address where I can see your work. As far as subject matter goes, I'm really interested in erotic Sci-Fi, Horror, Gothic, War and Crime stories and/or artwork in the same genera's. I'm also interested in material that is unique unto itself. If you send me a short sample of your writing, please spell check and proof read it before submitting it. I know that I'm not the best with grammar, but if your sample is full of misspelled words and the grammar and punctuation are noticeably worse than mine, it won't even be considered. :o)

Please, DO NOT send photos or files attached to your e-mails. They will be deleted!
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Comments & Opinions

I would love to hear from you. Please e-mail me with your comments, opinions and/or any suggestions you may have regarding Sex Blogger.
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Lots of New Merchandise!

Porn Jester's Adult Goodies Store

Express Your Rant! Sex Blogger Store!

Somnophilia Fantasy Store

Uncensored XXX Transsexual Videos - This is KINKY - Chicks with Dicks