Archived
July 29, 2007 - August 4, 2007

I'd Hit It!

Mmmm... Aurora Jolie

Check This - Dooza DVD Movie Review
 

Cheezy & Sleazy Pick-up Lines
 

Antique Photos & Critique
 

Photo Courtesy of Retro Raunch

I sooooooo love antique porn.

I think this photo was shot sometime in the very early 1960's.

Technically this photo is not very good... Well, it's worse than not very good, it sucks. The lighting sucks. It is just one tone of grey. No fancy lighting, no shadows, no contrast, and it is just a very plain, boring, and amateur looking photo. The only thing I do like about the photo (technically) is that the composition is interesting.

The model. My first thought was that the model was kinda scary looking, but then I looked at the model again. Yes, it is a bad angle - shooting right up her nose and all, but she is not too bad. She has nice big boobs, slender arms, nice hands, looks to have a thin body, has nice lips and very sultry eyes.

Summery: Technically, the photo sucks... and I thought the model was just okay. yeah she has big boobs, but she is still just okay. But at about the third or fourth time I looked at the photo I finally noticed the "bird" - "What the fuck? - LOL - How could I have missed that? I mean... come on. Yes, technically the picture sucks, but I LOVE this photo. It really makes me laugh... and now every time I look at it - all I can see is the bird - LOL - What the hell were they thinking... Oh my... this is a wonderful pic.. Oh yeah, I would so do the model  - with the bird staring at me and all ;o)
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Friday, August 3, 2007 Adult Erotica - MOVIE STARS It had been almost six months since Maggie's last fuck and she was about to start climbing the walls if she didn't get some cock in a hurry!!! "Will you sit your ass down, girl," Jada said while looking up over the top of her book, "you're driving me nuts with all your pacing!!!" "Jesus christ I can't stand it for another minute," Maggie replied to her cell mate, "if I don't get some pecker quick I'm gonna loose my mind!!!" "You and me both, honey," Jada shot back with a crooked grin, "but unless you've got a magic lamp with a genie I guess you're just gonna have to be satisfied with my tongue!!!" Maggie made a face at the sweet twenty six year old black girl, and then with a shrug of her shoulders she plopped down on her cot and replied with resignation, "You're right, but I'm gonna try to figure out some way to get some dick, you just mark my words," as she took Jada into her arms and kissed her full on the lips, "you just mark my words!!!"  The days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, and still there was no opportunity for Maggie to find a suitable male to service her sexually, but then as it so often happens, when you're least expecting it, lightning strikes!!! "Anderson, get over here," the burly guard called to Maggie, "the captain wants to see you in her office, pronto, so let's move it!!!" "What does she want," Maggie asked nervously as they made their way through the cell block to the captain's office!?! "How the fuck should I know," the ugly bull dyke retorted, "she don't tell me nothing, now shut your mouth and walk, got it!?!" Maggie merely nodded her head, and with the feeling of impending doom coming in over the horizon, she walked the rest of the way in silence!!! "Wait here and I'll see if she's busy," Officer Booth ordered gruffly!!! "Okay, the captain will see you now," Booth said evenly while showing Maggie into Captain Flo Evans private office, "I'll be right out side if you need me, captain, just holler if the bitch gets out of line!!!" Captain Evans waited until Officer Booth had gone and closed the door behind her, leaving the two of them alone before offering, "She's not exactly the most tactful person I've ever ran into!!!" Still not sure of why she was there, Maggie sat tight, not commenting either way at the captain's last remark!!! "Okay, let's get down to business," Flo Evans said evenly, "How'd you like to make some money, Anderson, and I mean a lot of money!?!"  30 "Who wouldn't," Maggie replied quickly, "but ya see all the thousand dollar a week jobs are all taken!!!" "Don't crack wise with me, bitch," Flo Evans replied harshly, "I can make your life a living hell so if I were you I'd shut my fucking mouth and listen to what I have to say!!!" "All right," Maggie answered contritely, "I'm all ears, go ahead!!!" "First of all," Flo Evans replied, "I want you to watch this," while she shoved a VCR tape into a video recorder and hit the play button, "I think that you'll find it interesting to say the least!!!" It took a few moments for the picture to come on the screen, but when it did Maggie's jaw almost his the floor, because there on the television was her in the shower with several other inmates sucking each others tits and pussies!!! In a state of total shock, Maggie stared at the images dancing in front of her before stammering, "When, how...........???" "The when's obvious," Flo answered, "the how is a hidden camera in the heat vent at the far end of the shower room, but that's not the important thing, the thing is what am I going to do with the tape!!!"  Maggie's brain was spinning while she tried to figure out exactly what was going on, but her thoughts were interrupted when Flo Evans continued on, "Now I could use this tape for my personal use, or I could sell it, which would you prefer!?!" "Sell it to who," Maggie asked slowly!?! "I've got some contacts in the porno business who tell me that we can get thousands for a tape like this one," Flo replied, "they specialize in amateur stuff mostly, but this female prison stuff could really be a gold mind!!!" "Maggie sat there for a few moments collecting her thought before asking, "And how much would the "actresses" get!?!" "Two hundred a piece per video," Flo Evan answered quickly, "we can do the stuff in the shower and around the rest of the prison if we like!!!" "Why not just make the videos and sell them without telling us," Maggie asked!?! "Because if anyone ever found out, I want your signature on a piece of paper saying that you were a willing participant," Flo replied, "and I won't lie to you, I'm gonna make a whole lot more than you do on the deal if everything works out, so it's better for all concerned if I put my cards on the table!!!" Maggie thought it over for a minute or two, and then offered, "Okay, ya got a deal, but there are two conditions, number one, you don't make us do anyone we don't wanna do, and number two, I wanna get a good hard fuck by a real man and for Jada too!!!" A broad smile broke out over Captain Evans' face and she replied, "You got yourself a deal, and you are about to become a fucking movie star, in more ways than one!!!"  Later that night in their cell, Maggie slid into bed with Jada and whispered, "You're not gonna believe what I have to tell ya, girl, but before we get to that I'm so fucking hot I can't help myself, so if you would................" Jada knew enough about her friend that what she really needed was a good cunt lapping, so after kissing her softly on the mouth, Jada slid down the between her lover's legs and began gently tonguing her over heated slit!!! "Oh god, baby," Maggie sighed softly, "you know just how to do my clit, mmmmm, suck it, baby, make Maggie cum a ton!!!" The lithe ebony enchantress urgently probed Maggie's pussy with her insistent tongue until she finally came to rest on her cell mate's over sized clit, where upon she flicked over it's tiny head until Maggie was shuddering with a brutal orgasm that left her gasping for breath!!!" "God," she panted, "one of these days you're gonna kill when you do that!!!" "Yeah," Jada whispered with a giggle while kissing her way up over Maggie's belly and breasts to her again kiss her warm mouth, "but what a nice way to go!!!" As usual, after she had gotten Maggie off with her mouth, Jada reached under the mattress and produced a long dildo she had fashioned in the wood shop, but as she handed it to Maggie, her cell mate replied, "Put it away, baby, we're gonna have company!!!"  Maggie cradled Jada in her arm while feeding her one of her big nipples, but the young black girl pulled away and asked, "What did you mean by were going to have visitors!?!" "Oh, just that a nice big handsome black stud is due to arrive any minute now and give both of us the fucking of our lives, that's all!!!" "Bull," Jada replied incredulously, "we're in prison, honey, stuff like that just doesn't happen, now I took care of you, so you do me," while handing her back the slick pussy juice covered dildo!!! Maggie was just about to explain the situation when a soft male voice wafted through the cell, "Okay ladies, come and get it, Freddy's ready to go!!! "But how," Jada hissed as the two of them scrambled over to the cell door, "I'll explain later," Maggie shot back, "for now just enjoy it, okay!?!" There was a slight click of the latch in the iron door, and seconds later one of the biggest man either of them had ever seen slipped silently into the dark cell, and said softly, "Who's first!?!"  "You go first," Maggie whispered hoarsely to her friend, "I'll just watch and get myself even more worked up, okay!?!" With the only light coming from the soft glow of the hallway, Freddy's dark skin blended in with his surroundings, but as he silently removed his clothing, both women stood there with their mouths hanging open at the incredible muscular build the black giant possessed!!! "I ain't got all night, girls," he said gently while scooping Jada up in his arms like she was baby and lifted her up high in the air until her pussy was directly in front of his mouth where he quickly devoured her as she hung helplessly before him!!!" "Oh my, Mags," Jada gasped, "h-he's eating me alive, oh, oh, oh, he's sucking my fucking clit!!!" Maggie was so stunned at the raw display of power that Freddy was displaying, for the first minute or so she merely slumped against the wall and stared at her best friend getting the sucking of her life, but as her senses slowly returned, she gasped herself when her gaze fell upon the incredible cock that stood proudly at attention sticking out from Freddy's groin!!!  With her hand shaking like a leaf, Maggie gingerly reached out and caressed the tennis ball size head head as tiny moans softly escaped her trembling lips!!! Jada was still just hanging there while Freddy tongued her to several hard orgasms, but the poor girl wasn't in the least bit prepared for what happened to her next, as the giant black man slowly lowered the rag doll like figure onto his massive member, impaling the unsuspecting woman with his monster pecker!!! Maggie recoiled at the sight of the slightly built woman being ravaged by such a organ, and it crossed her mind that it might be too much even for her, but as her fingers made their way into her steaming snatch, and the image of Freddy's cock driving inside of her, her pussy lurched as a powerful orgasm swept through her, leaving her shaken and trembling even before she knew what was to come!!!  As for Jada, her little cunt strained to allow the massive invader entry, and even though she was being stretched beyond her limits, the young black woman's pussy convulsed over and over again as blinding orgasm after orgasm ripped through her like a hurricane until she was literally hanging on his cock like a side of beef a hook, drained and devastated!!! After surveying the carnage he had just wrought, Freddy gently lifted Jada off of his hard dick and lay her softly onto the bed, before turning around to face a now cowering Maggie and said softly, "So you're the one who wants to get fucked by a big cock, huh, well now you're gonna get your chance bitch, so tell me, how do ya want it!?!" After looking over a the lifeless form of her softly groaning cell mate, Maggie tried speaking, but with her mouth dry from all the excitement, nothing would come out, and fortunately or unfortunately, Freddy made the decision for her as he grabbed her by the hair and leaned her over a small dresser, taking her from the rear!!! "No, no," she begged in a weak voice, "p-please no, I'm not ready, please noooooooooo, god is that fucking huge, oh god you're fucking me with your big mother fucking pecker!!!" The pain was at first searing, but almost instantly Maggie's pussy spasmed hard as the first of many orgasms twisted her pussy into knots, but the if she thought that was the end of it she was sorely mistaken as Freddy reared back and began fucking her with a ferocity that threatened to tear her pussy to ribbons!!!  If there is one thing that Freddy loved, it was scaring a woman to death with the size of his cock, and then after making sure that they were good and terrified, taking them with such brutality and viciousness that the fucking he was giving would be indelibly pressed in their memory forever, and while Maggie had talked a good game, here she was bent over with her legs spread wide apart submitting to Freddy's incredible erection!!! "So, bitch," he spat while pounding away at her pussy, how do you like it now, getting enough, or do you want some more!?!" Maggie was close to passing out, but with her last ounce of strength she moaned, "Come on stud man, show this bitch what you've got," and as if by magic, his pecker stiffened sending a load of cum blasting into her helpless pussy, sending her over the edge in one last mind bending orgasm as unconsciousness thankfully overtook her!!!  An hour or maybe two later, Maggie woke up in a groggy haze with the dull ache in her loins reminding her of the night before!!! She went over to the sink and splashed some water onto her face before climbing into be with Jada and cuddling up close to her!!! "Are you awake, baby," Maggie whispered softly into her ear!?! "Oh god, my pussy is sore," Jada whispered back, "how did you find him!?!" "Don't you worry about it, baby," she replied while nibbling the black girl's bare shoulder and peering up at the red light glowing from the infrared video camera hanging from the ceiling, "you just made two hundred dollars!!!"  THE END! . posted by: Porn Jester . Porn Jester's Erotic Stories - Uncensored, Rare & Raunchy, Adult Erotica

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Illustrated Erotic Tales
 

Sex-Fi Erotica

Gothic Horror Tales	Sex-Fi Erotica
Trench Coat Diaries	Tales of Death
Detective Toons	Crime Comix

Check This - Adult Movie Page
 

Adult Movie Page The Largest Collection of Hardcore XXX Videos & DVD's on the Web

Naughty Lesbian Pics
 

The Kinky World of Porn Jester
 

Check This - Exotic Indian Babes
 

Horny International Women In Heat

Harem Girls & Belly Dancers
 

Friday Funnies

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Sneak Peek Preview - Blogger Babe - Amber Rain
 

Next Week's Blog Babe

Amber Rain

Japanese Shunga
 

Check This - Sexy Asian Girls in Hardcore Movies
 

Hot Asian Babes in Hardcore Scenes

This Week's Chain E-Mail
 

Somnophilia - Sex with Innocent Sleeping Girls
 

Somnophilia SleepySex Fantasy

Featured Article "Spotlight" - The Cherry Red Report
 

UpDates & Reviews

"Sex-Fi. Erotic Sci-Fi, Goth & Horror Sex Stories" - Erotic science fiction, goth & horror illustrated sex stories. Featuring aliens, monsters, sexy babes and more. Plus 3D cartoon galleries, live chat and XXX movies.

"Sex-Fi" is a "CyberSex Prestige" site and is REALLY one of my favorite sites. I love the design of the splash pages. And yes, I designed them myself - "Thank you." The site had seven galleries of 3D animation, adult comix and illustrated erotica. Plus 20 different sci-fi & horror sex stories. I have also recently added 13 New Erotic Goth Tales, 25 Sex Tales of the Old West, and a new "Dark" Sci-fi Serial Comic. Anyway, the site is easy to navigate and it's updated monthly. If you're into sex, sci-fi and dark horror & erotic goth stories then you really should give "Sex-Fi" a try. Really you should! Really! Really! Do it now! :o)

"Nude Latina Teens" - Barely legal 18 & 19 year old Latina Teens, Naughty Latina Schoolgirls, Sexy Latina Cheerleaders, Sweet Latina Virgins and Spicy Latina Sluts.

"Nude Latina Teens" Site design is ok. It's easy to navigate and there are no hidden links, no pop-ups and certainly there is none of that other annoying crap that you usually get when you go to an adult site. The site has tons of photos of Hot & Spicy Latina Babes (real 18 & 19 year olds) spreading their creamy brown legs, showing pink and masturbating.

"Prep School Sluts" - The Girls you wanted in school, get naked for you now! Barely Legal Schoolgirls & Cheerleaders. Plus Hidden Dorm Room Cams & UpSkirt Galleries. These are real teens - NOT 30 year olds dressed up as teens!

"Prep School Sluts" Site design is good. Easy to navigate, etc., etc.. This site is filled with sweet & slutty Schoolgirls and Cheerleaders in uniform. There are Hidden Cam galleries (so you can spy on Schoolgirls while they change their clothes and do the stuff that Schoolgirls do), and there are also UpSkirt galleries (so you can finally get a good look under that sexy little Cheerleader uniform). Remember when you were in school and you soooo wanted to fuck, or at least date, the Cheerleaders and most of the time they wouldn't even look your way? Well now these Hot Teens are spreading their legs and showing you just what you always wanted to see.

"Nude Latina Teens" and "Prep School Sluts" are CyberAge Platinum Sites. Each of these sites have over 300 photos of young hot babes in various galleries. Each site is also updated on a regular basis with fresh new pics, banners and links. By becoming a member of one of these sites you will receive access to Both of them PLUS over 300,000 more adult sites which are part of the CyberAge network. No shit! 300,000 sites! In addition to getting free access to tons of sites, you also get access to adult movies, live chat, live sex shows, adult games, "model of the month" galleries, adult magazines, personal ads and so much more. And the best part is that it all comes FREE with your CyberAge Platinum membership. Cost of membership is only $19.90 a month. So, for less than the cost of a Large Pizza (with anchovies of course) you get more PORN than you will know what to do with. What a fucking great deal!!! And if you don't believe me, then just take the FREE CyberAge Platinum Tour and find out for yourself.

"Porn Jester's Black Girls" - Exclusive pictures of hot & horny Black teens spreading their legs wide & showing nice, tight, juicy &  pink, pussy. Plus hardcore adult cartoons and steamy erotic stories.

"Porn Jester's Black Girls" features many full galleries of Black Porn Stars, Schoolgirls, Cheerleaders, Lesbians and just some really sweet & cute Ebony Teens. Plus galleries of  erotic stories, adult cartoons and of course, the most important thing - 1000's of photos of Naughty Nubian babes - posing, teasing, masturbating and showing you the secrets of deep, dark, African pussy.

"Porn Jester's Erotic Stories" - The naughtiest collection of adult erotica on the net, with hundreds of explicit, uncensored, rare and raunchy, X-rated stories from today's top writers.

"Porn Jester's Erotic Stories" features hundreds of explicit, sexy & erotic adult stories in almost every niche you can think of. Plain & simple "Porn Jester's Erotic Stories" is a site for adult sex stories.

"Porn Jester's Black Girls" and "Porn Jester's Erotic Stories" both have nice, clean, simple, and easy to navigate designs. The layouts are very surfer friendly; easy to navigate, have no hidden links, no consoles, no entrapments of any kind, and banner advertising is kept to a strict minimum. Plus, they're both "Adult Check Gold" sites; which means - they're very high quality sites. When you become an AC member, you get FREE access to ALL the Porn Jester sites, PLUS you also get FREE access to over 300,000 other high quality Adult Check sites, and FREE access to the "EXCLUSIVE" Adult Check Members Area where you'll find tonnes of  high quality photo galleries, live cam feeds, exclusive DVD downloads and much, much more. So give it a click.

"Crime Toons" - Brutal Underground Comics Featuring Violent, X-rated 3D Cartoons, Action-Packed Anime, Graphic Tales of Terror, Bloody Murder Scenes, Machine-Gun Toting Gangsters, Sexy Toon Babes with Big Tits, Evil Villains and Super Heroes Fighting Terrorist.

"Crime Toons" features over many full galleries of very extreme, graphic, hardcore adult cartoons. Plus hard to find uncensored, underground comix, 3D toons, detective stories, funny cartoons, super heroes, evil villains, brutal murder scenes, good cops gone bad, big titty toon babes, anime, special "Stripper Toons" & "ProsTiToons" comics, exclusive "Pervert Jack" galleries, and tons of high quality art; all illustrated by today's top artists. "Crime Toons" has great and very colorful outside splash pages. These samples only give the surfer a taste of all the goodies that await once they become a member. The site has a nice, clean and simple design. The layout  is very surfer friendly and easy to navigate with no hidden links, no consoles, no entrapments of any kind, and banner advertising is kept to a strict minimum.

And, because "Crime Toons" is a CyberSex Prestige PLUS site you also get free access to thousands of other adult sites, free adult movies, live chat, live cam feeds, live sex shows, exclusive pictorials & videos, personal ads and much, much more. Really, check out "Crime Toons". But be warned... This adult website features extreme and very graphic cartoons of crime & violence and is not for the faint of heart.

"Stripper Toons" - Hilarious X-rated underground adult cartoons featuring, sexy strippers, skanky lap dancers, 3D comics, funny flash movies, burlesque pin-up art, action-packed anime, hardcore hentai, exotic big tit toon babes, bukkake comix, and exclusive strip club humor by today's top artists.

"Stripper Toons" features lots of galleries of very extreme, graphic, hardcore and very funny adult cartoons. Plus hard to find uncensored, underground comix, 3D toons, sleezy lap dancers, uncensored comic books, sexy strippers, burlesque floor shows, bukkake babes, private dances, big titty toon babes, anime, exclusive "Stripper Toons" galleries, exclusive "ProsTiToons" comics, exclusive "Pervert Jack" comix, and tons of high quality art; all illustrated by today's top artists. "Stripper Toons" has great and very colorful outside splash pages. These samples only give the surfer a taste of all the goodies that await once they become a member. The site has a nice, clean and simple design. The layout  is very surfer friendly and easy to navigate with no hidden links, no consoles, no entrapments of any kind, and banner advertising is kept to a strict minimum.

Plus, it's an "Adult Check Gold" site; which means - it's a very high quality site. When you become an AC member you get FREE access to ALL the high quality "Adult Check Sites" (which now total over 300,000) and you get FREE access to the "EXCLUSIVE" Adult Check Members Area where you'll find even more high quality photo galleries, live cam feeds, exclusive DVD downloads and much more. Check out "Stripper Toons". You won't be disappointed. I mean, come on - who doesn't like Strippers?

"Detective Cartoons" - Hard-boiled X-rated adult detective toons featuring gritty private eyes, horny dames, hardcore G-men, uncensored action-packed 3D comics, exotic big titty broads, underground bukkake comix, and much more.

"Detective Cartoons" features many full galleries of very extreme, graphic, hardcore and very funny adult cartoons. Plus hard to find uncensored, underground comix, 3D toons, sleezy Private Dicks, uncensored comic books, blowjob bukkake babes, weird FBI files, sex crime stories, gangsters, molls, big titty toon babes, exclusive "Stripper Toons" galleries, exclusive "ProsTiToons" comics, exclusive "Pervert Jack" comix, and tons of high quality art; all illustrated by today's top artists.

"Detective Cartoons" has great and very colorful outside splash pages. These samples only give the surfer a taste of all the goodies that await once they become a member. The site has a nice, clean and simple design. The layout  is very surfer friendly and easy to navigate with no hidden links, no consoles, no entrapments of any kind, and banner advertising is kept to a strict minimum. Plus, it's an "Adult Check Gold" site; which means - it's a very high quality site. When you become an AC member you get FREE access to ALL the high quality "Adult Check Sites" (which now total over 300,000) and you get FREE access to the "EXCLUSIVE" Adult Check Members Area where you'll find even more high quality photo galleries, live cam feeds, exclusive DVD downloads and much more. If you like hard-nosed pulp fiction, check out "Detective Cartoons".
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Blush Toons / Anime Girls
 

Blush Toons / Anime Girls

Check This - Masturbation Mirror
 

Masturbation Mirror

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Face Down, Ass Up is How We Like to Fuck
 

Doggy Style Divas

Yummy Blogger Babes
 

Blog Babe

Erika Kane

Tramp Stamps
 

Tramp Stamps

Check This - Sleep Carry
 

Sleep Carry Innocent Damsels in Distress Carried to Safety... or Torment! Sleep Carry is a FREE "Lift & Carry" site for the Hero, Villain (or Pervert) in all of us.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Pervert Jack

Poetry - PURPLE ROSE
 

Check This - Hidden Cam Stories
 

Hidden Cam Stories

Sexy Adult Cartoons & Erotic Pin Ups
 

Crazy Comix

Sexy Vinyl Outfit & Fetish Paddle by Eros Boutique
 

Slut Paddle & Fuck Me Choker Supplied by Eros Boutique

Vinyl Corset & Thong Supplied by Eros Boutique

The Open Bust Vinyl Corset, Crotchless Vinyl Thong, Leather "Slut" Paddle, Leather "Fuck Me" Choker, and Fetish Boots (Modeled by Thi Michelle) were supplied for the photo shoot by Eros Boutique – a great place for all your sexual fantasies - Eros Boutique.
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Toon Tuesday

I love erotic toons!
 

Stripper Toons	Cuntoons	Sex-Fi Erotica
Crazy Comix	Triple X Toons	Tales of Death
Gothic Horror Tales	Kinky Komix	Trenchcoat Diaries
Pregnant Comix	PJ's Adult Toons	Christmas Toons
Crime Toons	Urabon Yuri	Undercover Stripper
ProsTiToons	Blush Toons	Detective Comix
	Pervert Jack

Check This - "Spotlight"  Sexy Slapstick Videos
 

Sexy SlapStick Videos

Monday, July 30, 2007

Monday Toons

Three Naughty Jokes

1. One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell.  As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil...

Satan: "Why so glum?"

Guy: "Why do you think? I'm in hell!"

Satan: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here.  You a
drinking man?"

Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."

Satan: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do
is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Tab, and Fresca.  We
drink 'til we throw up, and then we drink some more! And you don't have to
worry about getting a hangover, because you're dead anyway."

Guy: "Gee that sounds great!"

Satan: "You a smoker?"

Guy: "You better believe it!"

Satan: "All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from
all over the world, and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie, you're already dead, remember?"

Guy: "Wow... that's awesome!"

Satan: "I bet you like to gamble."

Guy: "Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do."

Satan: "Good, 'cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps,
blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, it doesn't
matter, you're dead anyhow.

Guy: "Cool!"

Satan: "What about Drugs?"

Guy: "Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean...?"

Satan: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want. You're dead so who cares."

Guy: "Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!"

Satan: "You gay?"

Guy: "No..."

Satan: "Oooo, Fridays are gonna be tough.

2. A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide" The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacist eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law!! I'll lose my license. They'll throw both of us in jail!! You CAN NOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

3. A lady called her gynecologist, and asked for an "emergency" appointment. The receptionist said to come right in. She rushed to the office, and was ushered right into an examination room. The doctor came into the exam room and asked about her problem. 
She was very shy about her emergency problem, and asked the gynecologist to please examine her vagina. So the doctor started to examine her. He stuck up his head after completing his examination. "I'm sorry, Miss," he said, "but removing that vibrator is going to involve a very lengthy, delicate and expensive surgical operation." "I'm not sure I can afford it," sighed the young woman. "But while I am here could you just replace the batteries?"
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Check This - Triple X Cams
 

Triple X Cams

Movie Monday - One Password - 1000's of Movies

Tonnes of Great Adult Movies & Sexy Hardcore Videos in Every Flavour...
 

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Blogger Babe - Jasmine

Jasmine is a very hot, not to mention very, very sexy 21 year old, 4'11, 100 lb Asian Hottie with really long (to her butt) dark brown hair. She has a sweet baby face, very pretty brown eyes, nice lips and an innocent smile. Her Body? Mmmm, she is deffo a "spinner." Very slender with a nice figure, small nicely shaped tits with nice round nipples, the typical lower back tattoo, a great "cum-fuck-me" arch and a very natural, unshaved, silky-smooth bush of dark pubic hair. - Yummy!  I used to be into shaved girls, but now that is almost all you see (so dang boring)... It was very refreshing, not to mention exciting, to actually work with a babe that was hairy. (See this week's Blogger Babe Pics).
 

Asian Candy

An agent sent Jasmine's pic to me and as soon as I saw it I knew I wanted to meet her, hire & photograph her, date, fall in love and marry her. This girl deffo sent a tingle through my body. Mmmmm... Wow, I have been having that same type of feeling a lot lately with the models that I've been interviewing... Dang, I deffo need a girlfriend - LOL. Anyway, I called Jasmine, talked (flirted) with her on the phone for a while and set up an interview.

Arrrgggg!!! I just can't win! A couple days later Jasmine and her boyfriend showed up for the interview. Dang, what is it with these hot little models? Do they all have boyfriends or what? Dang! Dang! Dang! Of course, she looked hot and he looked like a thug. I mean, he was nice, polite and it showed that he deffo cared about her, but he still looked like a thug - tattoos all over his body, baggy pants, baseball cap on sideways, etc.. She should deffo not be with him and she should deffo be with me :o) We talked for a while. I told them about the job, the price, etc.. And found out a few things about her. She's in college and is only doing porn to make a little extra cash. Ding, ding, ding... The alarms went off in my head and again I went into "Savior" mode. You know... the same old story - she should not be doing adult work and she should be doing "real" modeling and that I could deffo help her get into it. She was very interested in what I was telling her, said she always wanted to model and would love to talk more about it - But not until after I hired her for a shoot. So I hired her.
 

Porn Jester's Asian Girls

A few days later, she and her b/f showed up (a little late) for the shoot. They stayed up partying all night - tsk, tsk, tsk... He was very tired and asked if he could crash somewhere. Unfortunately there was no place for that, so fortunately he went back home - Woo-Hoo! I now had Jasmine to myself all day... Well not actually to myself, my assistant (ex-girlfriend) and my partner, Big Lou, were here. Oh well, at least her b/f was not! The shoot went great and Jasmine was a lot of fun to work with. As I was shooting her, I deffo felt a connection with her. Our eyes kept locking and I really felt that something deep was passing between us. With my eyes I kept saying - "I want to make love with you, you are beautiful, I love you, leave your b/f and be with me." Of course, I was fantasizing that she was thinking similar thoughts. But in reality, she was probably thinking - "What the hell does he keep looking at me like that for." LOL! Oh well... As mentioned earlier - she was a furry little babe. I loved the fact that she had so much hair (upper & lower). It deffo made for a great shooting experience - not to mention pretty much keeping me turned on all day.
 

Asian Anal

Anyway, back to the shoot. It went really well and in exactly five (5) hours we shot eight (8) different set-ups including: cheerleader, schoolgirl, plastic wrap (mummification), amateur web cam, an Asian outfit, leopard-print bra and panties, a pink dress and of course a voyeur scene. Just as we were finishing the last scene, her b/f showed up. Dang, perfect timing. I was hoping he would be late... Oh well... I paid Jasmine and as she was leaving, she told me that she wanted to set up a time to get together and talk about doing some non-adult photography. Kewl! Of course, in my mind, I got the feeling that she just wanted to hang with me a little more. We set up a time for the following week.
 

Hairy Asian Girls

The next week she called and asked for directions - making it sound like she was deffo coming by herself. I certainly had my hopes dashed when she a her b/f showed up as well. Dang! I can't win for losing. The three of us talked for about an hour. Discussed various ideas and set a time to shoot some artsy fashion pics the following weekend. Of course the weekend came and Jasmine didn't show up for the shoot, BUT she did call a saying that she was sorry, she had "Pink Eye" and that she would call to set another date when her eye was better. Hmmm, I wonder how long "Pink Eye" lasts - because it has been a months and I have not heard from her... Oh well... Looks like another flaky model...
 

Mummified Girls

If you want to see more of Jasmine, check out "Triple X Cams," "Mummified Girls," "Asian Candy," and of course "Porn Jester's Asian Girls."
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