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December 25, 2005 - December 31, 2005



Saturday, December 31, 2005

New Year's Eve

Drive Safe! Don't Drink & Drive! Get a Designated Driver!
Have a Very Safe and Happy New Year.

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posted by: Neo ©
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I'd Hit It!

I'd Hit It!
 Mmmm...
Melissa Jayne
Melissa Jayne
I'd Hit It!
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posted by: Neo ©
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Check This - Dooza Porn Movie Review
 

Review of Dooza.com
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posted by: Neo
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Quote of the Week
 

"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing."

- Anais Nin

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posted by: Neo
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Antique Erotica
 

Antique Erotica
Photo Courtesy of Retro Raunch

This photo was done sometime in the 1940's or early 1950's (I think).

I really love the look of this photo. The contrast between the blacks & whites are deep & rich and the contrast between the model and the background really makes her stand out. The backdrop is just a black curtain, but there is enough light on it to give it just enough detail to keep the viewer's eye moving. The model's pose is simple and even though it seems a little stiff, there is an air about it that says "Here I am. You can look, but you can't have me".

Let's discuss the model. She's hot! She's thin with delicate lines, has nice legs, a flat stomach, really nice tits, pretty blonde hair and a nice face. And "Yes" I would do her without hesitation.

The photo deffo works for me on all levels.
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posted by: Neo ©
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Friday, December 30, 2005

Sci-Fi Friday - Erotic Science Fiction

Erotic Science Fiction Tentacles

    A huge orange sun glowed in the iron gray sky above a small, jungle-shrouded planet. Three planets shadowed the weak light of the dying sun, spreading around it like stepping stones, or the spread of a winning hand in a poker game. A gentle breeze ruffled the umbrella-like canopy in the top of a 600 foot tall tree. It was the only movement in the alien landscape. No birds, no animals, no insects intruded on the botanical beauty of the landscape. All was quiet until... 

    Two space suit enclosed figures pushed through the underbrush and paused in the clearing. They stopped and looked around, while viewing their surrounding through the all-seeing eyes of their instruments. Their orange suits added sparkling color to an otherwise drab environment. The suits were marked with tags named Emily and Carson. 
    "It looks like a typical M class to me," a young female voice said. She turned so the reflection cleared from her face plate, and a beautiful young face, framed in blonde hair appeared in the plastic window. "The big difference is the lack of chlorophyll. Still, I think the quarantine can be lifted, if we exercise a little caution," Emily said authoritatively. 
    "You're right about the chlorophyll," a young man said as he surveyed the foliage around them. "I wonder how they convert light into energy." 
    "Maybe they don't. Maybe it's an oceanic type of environment. Possibly microscopic life draws energy from the sun, and these plants draw energy from that life." 
    "Far-fetched," Carson laughed. 
    "Yeah? Well explain why the sap in these plants looks like blood. Also explain the complete lack of insect and animal life. Every planet we've ever visited has had animal life of one sort or another. The water here is full of life. So why didn't it migrate to the land?" 
    "Because... because... because it did, but something on land ate it?" Carson said anxiously. 
    "Exactly. Let's get back to the ship before it eats us. We can continue our investigation from the safety of the ship." 
    "All right, but I can't blame anything for wishing to eat you," he laughed. "I've considered it myself, from time to time." 
    "Luckily you didn't pursue that thought and you're still alive. Our expedition needed a micro-biologist." 
    Carson humped and looked at his instruments. "That way," he said as they reached a familiar tree the size of the Seattle Space Needle. "How can such a hot little bitch, be so damned cold?" he giggled. 
    "I'm not cold, just choosey." 
    "Ouch, that hurts."
    "Good, keep your dick in your pants." 
    "Speaking of that, I need to take a piss. Do you think I could break quarantine long enough to drain the lizard?" 
    "Drain the lizard!" Emily said in disdain. "That's so fucking colonial." 
    "That's me, Carson the colonial clown. So what do you think?" 
    "I have to pee too. Sure, let's chance it. The ship is a long way off, and I don't want to smell urine for the next two hours." 
    "Agreed," Carson said, turning away and unsealing his suit. It took him several minutes to unseal the bottom portion of his suit and drop it around his ankles. He sighed in relief as urine shot from the end of his cock. He was suddenly distracted by a squirting sound behind him. He turned to see a perfect, golden ass spraying urine into the sand between her legs. 
    "Shit, couldn't you do that out of sight?" Carson groaned. "That's the hottest ass I've seen in months." 
    "Regulations," she reminded him, "we don't lose sight of each other under any circumstances." 
    "My God you are beautiful," he said, totally enthralled by her golden ass, gleaming in the dim sunlight. 
    "A random assembly of commonly similar human appendages. Now turn away, I have to eliminate." 
    "Can't you say "take a shit," like everyone else?" 
    "Shut up and turn around." 
    "Yessa massa, I's turnin," he said, shuffling in the sand as he turned. 
    "You are such an asshole," she groaned. 
    "Yeah, I know. While you're doing it, I might as well... TAKE A SHIT TOO!" he said, shouting the words. 
    Each did their business. Neither noticed the fact that long tentacles of what appeared to be tree roots, crept closer in the sparse grass. As was customary with the creeping plants, they first sought the heat which had attracted them, then they coiled around whatever appendage they found touching the ground. In this case it was Emily's naked legs and stocking covered feet. The bottom of her suit lay several feet away. She barely felt the first touch of the tree roots, and even when she did she attributed the touch to her movements, not that of the roots. In a moment it was too late, they had encircled her ankles. She looked down in surprise. 
    "I seem to be caught," she laughed, looking back at Carson. 
    "Huh?" he turned in alarm. "By what?" 
    "Tree roots," she chuckled. 
    "You are slow." 
    "Actually, I am very stuck, and they are not all that slow. In fact, they are very fast and stealthy. Shit, Carson, get this fucker off me!" she said in an ever-increasing shout. She found both feet solidly entangled by strong roots. Carson tried to turn, and found one of his own feet snagged by roots. 
    "What the fuck?" he laughed nervously. 
    "Carson, this isn't a joke. One of those damned limbs is trying to get inside my pussy." 
    "Who the fuck wouldn't?" he joked, pulling on his own root-enshrouded foot. "This is damned embarrassing," he said, getting more frantic. 
    "Did you bring a weapon, or a molecular cutter?" she asked. Normally she was vocally against carrying such instruments of destruction, but at the moment she leaned more toward self-preservation. 
    "No, damit, nobody carries weapons around you, you hypocritical bitch. Now I wish that I had. My desire to please you, the original silver plated "we don't need to carry weapons in a peaceful expedition" bitch, may kill us both." 
    Emily watched as the root began to bend, then sat up like a snake about to strike. And like the snake, it suddenly did strike. She felt the softened, slimy end shoot up her pussy. The force of the strike knocked her down. With a woof of expelled air, she looked up at the pale gray sky above her. The next thing she felt was a second tentacle snaking up her ass. The tentacle up her ass began to pump out shit. It was not exactly uncomfortable, just different. 
    She suddenly found that she was paralyzed. She could still feel the lower half of her body, but she could not move it. She could feel the tentacle inside her pussy enlarging to fill every crack and void. As it finished it began to pulse. This was not unpleasant at all, in fact it was extremely pleasant. 
    It seemed to gently rock inside her. She felt her pussy and ass heating up. She unconsciously pushed her ass toward the roots, meeting their thrusts with thrusts of her own. Roots or not, they felt good. In fact they were very good lovers. She believed part of the wonderful feeling could be attributed to chemicals in the root itself. It seemed to be well-adapted to large animal life. They knew just where to probe and feed, and now to stimulate an orgasm as well. She felt her orgasm beginning to heat up. As her pussy secreted more juices, and generated more heat, she felt the tentacle growing more excited. It generated great heat, and excitement inside her pussy. In no time at all she felt her first orgasm explode. Her entire lower body was on fire now. The tentacles seemed to be generating some type of aphrodisiac. She was more excited than ever before in her life. She was suddenly frightened as the second methodical pumping attack began on her loins. 
    "Carson, this thing is fucking me to death and I can't move. Get me out of here." 
    "I'm trying," he said, panting from behind her. "I have a small knife." 
    "Then use it, you moron." 
    "Try calling the base camp," he panted as he sawed on a root. He sawed through the tough roots one bundle at a time, until it jerked back and withered, shooting blood from the severed ends. He half expected to hear a scream, but there was only silence around them. 
    "Did you call yet?" he panted. 
    "No, damit." 
    "Why not?" 
    "Because I am not going to call in people to see me like this. I'd rather die." 
    "See what?" Carson was stunned into amazement. He turned to find Emily, sexily naked from the waist down, being pumped by excited root-like tentacles. It was the sexist thing he'd ever seen. He forced the roots around his ankle to turn enough to face toward her. He squatted on the ground and watched. She was panting and pumping her pussy against the tentacle. It was obvious that she was enjoying it. Carson grabbed the waistband of his suit and began pulling it on, so the same couldn't happen to him. 
    "Are... are you enjoying this?" she asked sarcastically as she turned to see him watching her pump her pussy against the tentacles. Feeling suddenly exhausted, she closed her eyes and leaned back, allowing the tentacles to do all the work. Somehow, they had learned the art of lovemaking to a high degree. Emily began to suspect that she now knew what had killed off the animal life. They had died as she would, fucking a greedy, lecherous parasitical plant that would milk her of all her bodily fluids, and leave her shriveled body to rot in the dirt. 
    "Hell yes. You are one beautiful slut. Even you pussy hair glitters gold in the sunlight. I would give anything to eat that pussy of yours." 
    "If you get me out of this, you can eat it to your heart's content!" she screamed as her third orgasm struck her weakening body. 
    "It's a deal," he gasped, pulling on the roots around his foot. He suddenly remembered a pack of matches in his survival kit. He dug into the pocket on the side of his leg. It took only a moment to find the green box and paw it open. He lit his first match and touched it to the roots. The roots seemed to ignore it. He dropped the spent match, gathered up small sticks and grass, and built a pile beneath the bundle of tough roots. This time the fire flared up around the root, it withered, tightened briefly, then released his ankle. It disappeared so quickly into the nearby brush, that he could barely follow it's progress. 
    Carson hurried over to Emily, and alternately watched the tentacles sucking her pussy dry, while he built the pile of grass beneath it. He couldn't help it, he just had to pause and watch. 
    Emily had her eyes closed. She was thrusting mightily against the tentacles. Her pussy looked wet and delicious in the dim sunlight. He was tempted to bend down and insert a finger. Just a little taste wouldn't hurt. No, she had promised. He would help. He wanted more than a quick taste. He wanted to eat and fuck that golden little bitch until she couldn't stand on her own two feet. 
    "Your promise?" he asked again. 
    "Huh, what?" she asked. Her eyes flew open in surprise. She looked Carson up and down before she realized that he was free. 
    "Yeah, sure. Just..." she panted, closing her eyes again. 
    "Just what?" he asked, wondering how a thundering hardon would show up on the bio readouts back in the ship. 
    "Just wait a few minutes, until it's finished," she begged, the first civil words she had said to him. 
    "Sure," he said, first checking his surroundings, then squatting on the sparsely grassed sand. He was safe inside the suit. It was insulated so the plants couldn't find him. They stalked heat, not movement. 
    "Oh God yes," Emily panted, opening her sex clouded eyes and staring at Carson as she pumped against the plant. "I feel so damned sexy," she gasped, closing her eyes again. She panted in time with each sexy thrust. Her leg muscles bulged with the strain. Her stomach was washboard firm and nicely tanned, beneath the edge of the upper half of her suit. Carson took his life in his hands by lifting the lower edge of her suit with a black gloved hand. Her wonderful breasts appeared, bobbing as she rocked against the loving roots. Her eyes flashed open. He could clearly see her leering smile through the faceplate. 
    "Like it or not, you are going to fuck me to death once we reach the ship," she gasped. Her face twisted in passion. Carson moaned, feeling his cock trying to bust a hole through the front of his suit. 
    "Oh fuck!" Emily moaned, intensifying her attack. The tentacle increased it's tempo to meet her thrusts. Carson wondered how it knew. Did it have eyes? He stood and turned, surveying he plants around him. They just looked like bushes to him. 
    "Oh yes!" Emily screamed. She froze. Her face twisted in enjoyment. She licked her rich red lips, then bit her lower lip between her sparkling white teeth. She screamed just once, then fell exhausted on the ground. 
    "Ok, get me loose," Emily said, looking up at him. He ducked down and lit the pile of grass. The tentacles immediately withdrew. By pushing the pile of burning grass beneath the roots holding her ankles, they too disappeared. Emily struggled, but could to get to her feet. Carson found her suit and dressed her like a small child. She held on to him as her lower body slowly began to regain it's strength. He finally helped her to her feet and they began limping toward the ship. 
    "Don't tell anyone about this," she hissed in her suit radio. 
    "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. I will remember it forever, of course." 
    "That's fine. We can come back here later. Next time, bring a weapon." 
    "What! You want to come back?" he asked in horror. 
    "Damned right. That was the best fuck of my life." 

THE END.
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Sex-Fi - Erotic Sci-Fi Stories
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For More Sci-Fi Erotica, Gothic Horror Stories, Tales of Death
and Sexy Detective Stories, Check Out:
Gothic Horror Tales
Gothic Horror Tales
Sex-Fi. Erotic Science Fiction & Horror Sex Stories
Sex-Fi Erotica
Trenchcoat Diaries
Trenchcoat Diaries
Tales of Death
Tales of Death
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posted by: Neo
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Check This - Adult Movie Page
 

Adult Movie Page - The Largest Collection of Hardcore, Fetish, XXX Movies and Downloadable DVD's on the Web
Adult Movie Page
The Largest Collection of Hardcore XXX Videos & DVD's on the Web
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posted by: Neo ©
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Naughty Lesbian Pics
 

Naughty Lesbian Pics
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posted by: Neo
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Porn Jester
 

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posted by: The Porn Jester ©
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Check This - Hidden Voyeur Cams
 

Be a Peeping Tom - Voyeur Movies
Secret Spy Cams
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posted by: Neo
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Featured Artist - Patty @ A Creative Spanked Wife
 

Featured Artist - Patty @ A Creative Spanked Wife

Click Here for More From A Creative Spanked Wife

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posted by: Patty © 2005
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Friday Funnies

SnapShots By Jason Love

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posted by: Jason Love ©
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Thursday, December 29, 2005

Japanese Shunga
 

Japanese Shunga
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posted by: Neo
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Check This - Indian Babes
 

Brown Sugar Babes from South East Asia - Indian Girls
Horny International Women In Heat
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posted by: Neo
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This Week's Chain E-Mail
 

THE YEAR 1905 – Only One Hundred Years Ago!

Here are some of the U.S. statistics for the Year 1905: 

The average life expectancy in the U.S. was 47 years. 

Only 14 percent of the homes in the U.S. had a bathtub. 

Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.

A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost eleven dollars. 

There were only 8,000 cars in the U.S., and only 144 miles of paved roads. 

The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph. 

Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily populated than California.

With a mere 1.4 million people, California was only the 21st most populous state in the Union.

The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower! 

The average wage in the U.S. was 22 cents per hour.

The average U.S. worker made between $200 and $400 per year. A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, a dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year. 

More than 95 percent of all births in the U.S. took place at home. 

Ninety percent of all U.S. doctors had no college education. Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press and by the government as "substandard." 

Sugar cost four cents a pound. 

Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen. 

Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.

Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.

Five leading causes of death in the U.S. were: 

1. Pneumonia and Influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars.

Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii, and Alaska hadn't been admitted to the Union yet.

The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30!!!

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn't been invented yet. 

There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.

Two out of every 10 U.S. adults couldn't read or write.

Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school. 

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores!  Back then pharmacist said, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health."

Eighteen percent of households in the U.S. had at least one full-time servant or domestic help. 

There were about 230 reported murders in the entire U.S. 

And I copied this from someone else without typing it myself and then posted it here for thousands to read in just a matter of seconds. Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years. It boggles the mind!!

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posted by: Neo
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Somnophilia - Sex with Innocent Sleeping Girls
 

Somnophilia - Sex with Innocent Sleeping Girls - They Can't Say No!
Somnophilia - Sleeping Girls
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posted by: Neo ©
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UpDates & Reviews

Nude Pregnant Women - Knocked Up & About to Drop "Nude Pregnant Women" - Knocked Up & About to Drop. Sexy pregnant women and nude teen girls that are very, very pregnant. Hardcore, softcore and close up pictures of their pregnant pussies.

"Nude Pregnant Women" is another older site that I have completely redesigned. I upgraded it to surpass all the requirements of a "CyberAge Platinum" site. The outside splash pages have a whole new look - very clean, simple and easy to navigate. Inside is new as well. I added 30 hot, new galleries with 1000's of new photos of sexy pregnant women & naughty teen girls. "Nude Pregnant Women" has pregnant schoolgirls, pregnant cheerleaders, pregnant skater chicks, pregnant teens in lingerie, lesbians eating pregnant pussy, pregnant babes in bondage, pregnant girls in uniform, pregnant teens masturbating with dildos and much, much more. "Nude Pregnant Women" is very nicely done. Banner advertising is kept to a strict minimal, there are no consoles, no hidden links and no entrapments of any kind. And... since "Nude Pregnant Women" is a "CyberAge Platinum" site, that means you also get unlimited access to over 300,000 other adult sites, live chat, XXX movies, adult videos, live sex shows and much more. And... you get all of this for less than the cost of a week's supply of diapers.

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"Triple X Toons" is a sexy hardcore toon site. Not only does it feature anime & hentai from today's top artist, but it also has tons of adult cartoons, comix, 3D babes and illustrated stories. Plain and simple, this site is Hot. The outside splash pages are bright, colorful, fast loading and very enticing. In addition to the main splash page and sign-up page there is a four page tour to give you an idea of what  you'll find in the members area. But keep in mind, these tour pages are softcore - not like the type of hardcore toons that are on the inside. I'm deffo trying to give surfers a little more for their money with this site. Inside there are seven galleries (updated monthly) of rare anime & hentai pictures, 3D babes, triple X adult cartoons, comic strips, animated gif's and lots more. Dang, what more could you want? The design of the members area is good. It's clean, it loads quick and it's very easy to navigate. Of course there's no annoying pop-ups, no consoles, no entrapments, no hidden links, and, banner advertising is kept to a strict minimal. Let's face it, it's how all sites should be - very surfer friendly, tons of bishoujo (beautiful girl), hentai, lesbians, bondage, stories, comics and other sexy toons. AND, to make it even better - "Triple X Toons" is a  "CyberSex Prestige Plus Site" site - which means it's a high quality site with tons of extras like free access to thousands of other adult sites, free adult movies, live chat, live cam feeds, live sex shows, exclusive pictorials and videos, personal ads, a CyberSex newsletter and much, much more. Give it a click and let me know what you think.

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"Cheerleaders & Teens in Uniform" The site design is good and of course it's easy to navigate. The splash pages are fairly quick loading and have quite a few sample pictures to give you an idea what's inside. Inside there are 9 separate galleries with over 300 photos of teens in uniform: everything from cheerleaders & schoolgirls to flight attendants, doctors, nurses, bus drivers, marines, french maids and more. The galleries are updated on a regular basis (monthly) with fresh new pics. "Cheerleaders & Teens in Uniform" is an Adult Check Gold site. And that means that it's high quality, gives you access to thousands of other sites and has very few banners and no entrapments or other annoying shit that pisses you off. Check it out!

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"China Dolls" is another of my favorite sites. Hello... it's all Asian!!! :o) The site is designed well and it's very easy to navigate. There are no hidden links, no consoles, no pop-ups and no entrapments of any kind. I hate those things so I don't incorporate them into my sites. "China Dolls" has over 300 photos of Asian Teens divided into 7 different galleries - which are updated monthly with fresh new pictures. "China Dolls" is a "CyberAge PLATINUM" site. And again, that means that when you become a "CyberAge" member you get FREE access to over 300,000 adult sites, XXX movies, live chat, live sex shows and much, much more. It really is a good deal... so take the FREE tour and check it out for yourself - "Click here to take the FREE CyberAge tour." Or just click on the link and go straight to the "China Dolls" site.

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"Porn Jester's Latina Girls" has a nice, clean, simple, and easy to navigate design with many free samples to check out. The site layout is very surfer friendly; easy to navigate, no hidden links, no consoles, no entrapments of any kind, and banner advertising is kept to a strict minimum. Plus, it's an "Adult Check Gold" site; which means - it's a very high quality site. When you become an AC member, you get FREE access to all the Porn Jester sites, PLUS you also get FREE access to over 300,000 other high quality Adult Check sites, and FREE access to the "EXCLUSIVE" Adult Check Members Area where you'll find even more high quality photo galleries, live cam feeds, exclusive DVD downloads and much more So, check out "Porn Jester's Latina Girls". You won't be disappointed.
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posted by: Neo ©
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Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Fetish Wear & Boots by Eros Boutique
 

Jenna Brooks in Latex
Jenna Brooks in Latex

The Fetish Wear & Latex Boots were supplied for the photo shoot by Eros Boutique – a great place for all your sexual pleasures- Eros Boutique. Click on the link and check it out.
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posted by: Neo ©
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Face Down, Ass Up is How We Like to Fuck
 

Face Down, Ass Up is How We Like to Fuck
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posted by: Neo ©
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Tramp Stamps
 

Tramp Stamps
Tramp Stamps
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posted by: Neo ©
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Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Pervert Jack

Pervert Jack - www.pervertjack.com

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posted by: Pervert Jack ©
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Poetry - AND THE CLOCKS ARE TICKING AWAY
 

AND THE CLOCKS ARE TICKING AWAY

I AM SO TIRED
I WANT TO CRY
I WANT THE TEARS TO
WASH AWAY THE PAIN
WASH AWAY THE YEARS
AND
WASH AWAY THE CLOCKS
THAT TICK AWAY AT OUR TIME TOGETHER
I CRY
THE TEARS ROLL DOWN MY FACE
WASHING AWAY NOTHING
BUT THE DAY'S DIRT
LEAVING NOTHING
BUT DRIED STREAMS OF DREAMS
WANTING NOTHING
BUT MORE TIME WITH YOU

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posted by: Elsie Bee ©
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Check This - Erotic Pregnant Stories
 

Erotic Pregnant Stories
Pregnant-Stories.com
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posted by: Neo ©
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Sexy Cartoon Pinups
 

Cartoon Pinups
Cartoon Pinups
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posted by: Neo ©
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Movie Tuesday

Tonnes of Great Adult Movies & Sexy Hardcore Videos in Every Flavour...
 

Latina
Amateur
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Indian
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Group Sex
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Mature
M.I.L.F
General
AC Moviepass Review
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posted by: Neo ©
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Monday, December 26, 2005

Monday Toons

Frenetic Wanderings - Jeff Swenson

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Check This - Porn Jester Clothes

New "Black" T's in Stock.

Porn Jester's Clothes
Porn Jester's Clothes
PJ Wear
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posted by: Neo ©
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Three Jokes

1. The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?" The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars." "What that tell you?" asked Tonto. The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.  Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.  Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?" Tonto is silent for a moment, then says, "Kemo Sabe, you dumber then buffalo shit. Someone has stolen tent."

2. Q: What do blondes do for foreplay? 
A: Remove their underwear.

3. A small Alabama Wild Animal Park acquired a very rare species of gorilla.  Within a few weeks, the gorilla, who was a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available. Reflecting on their problem, the park administrator thought of Woody Standin, a redneck custodian, who was responsible for cleaning the animal's cages. Woody had little sense, but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. The park administrator thought they might have a solution. Woody was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $300.00? Woody showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, Woody announced that he would accept their offer, but only under the following four conditions:

a) "First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her on the lips." The park administrator quickly agreed to this condition.

b) "Second," Woody said, "you must never tell anyone about this." The park administrator again readily agreed to this condition.

c) "Third, Woody said, "I want all the offspring to be raised Southern Baptist." Once again the administrator agreed.

d) And last of all Woody stated: "Ya'll gotta give me until pay day to come up with the $300.00."
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posted by: Neo
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Check This - Triple X Cams
 

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posted by: Neo ©
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Sunday, December 25, 2005

Merry Christmas
 

Merry Christmas from Sex Blogger
Merry Christmas from Sex Blogger
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posted by: Neo ©
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Letters to Santa
 

deer santa:
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.

Yer Frend,
BiLLy

Dear Billy,

Nice spelling Einstein. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell.

Santa

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Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!

Love,
Sarah

Dear Sarah,

Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?

Santa

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Santa,

I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.

Love,
Teddy

Dear Teddy,

Look, your dad's banging the baby-sitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that pipe dream. Let me get you some nice Lego's instead. Maybe you can build yourself a "family" with those.

Santa

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Dear Santa,

I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.

Love,
Francis
 

Dear Francis,

Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.

Santa

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Dear Santa,

I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.

Love,
Susan
 

Dear Susan,

Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam.

Santa

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Dear Santa,

What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?

Your friend,
Thomas
 

Dear Thomas,

All the toys are made by little kids like you in China. Every year I give those bastards a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table.

Santa

P.S.
Tell your mom she got the part.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Santa,

Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?

Love,
Jessica

Dear Jessica,

Are you really that stupid? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house this year.

Santa

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Santa,

I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?

Timmy
 

Timmy,

That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. Just for that you're getting slippers again.

Santa

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Dearest Santa,

We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?

Love,
Marky

Mark,

First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house; you live in a low-rent, barrio apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do; through your bedroom window you jackass.

Sweet Dreams,
Santa

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posted by: Neo
.
 

Blogger Babe - Ruby

Ruby is a 19 year old, 4'11, 80 lb Asian Cutie (with a capital "C"). She is so very Tiny (with a capital "T"). Oh my... I think that she is the tiniest girl I have ever photographed. I could literally (almost) hold her the the palm of my hand. She is a very sweet girl with very tiny tits, tiny waist (18 inches), tiny hips and a very small, firm and hot, little body. She has shoulder length dark hair, a couple small tattoos, a completely shaved pussy and did I mention that she was tiny (see this week's Blogger Babe Pic). 

Ruby also has quite a few piercings. I lost count of exactly how many holes she has in her body, but I do know she has 1 piercing in each nipple, 2 in her tongue, approx. 16 in her ears, 2 or 3 in her belly button and, at last count, her pussy had 9. NINE! OMG! Can you imagine her trying to go through security at the airport. LOL.
 

Blogger Babe - Ruby

I met Ruby through last week's Blogger Babe - "Sabrine" and, right from the start, we really hit it off. Before we actually met in person, we talked on the phone a few times and because of her being new to the Country, not speaking English too well and not knowing her way around LA, I decided to go to her place to interview her. During the interview, I kept thinking about having sex with her. I've never had sex with somebody this tiny before and just thought that it would deffo be an experience. But I kept also thinking, she is only 4'11. I'm 5'11. She is only 80 lbs. I'm 180 lbs. Dang! I could break her in half. Arrgg, I wanna have sex with her. But, she is so small. OMG! She's a true spinner. I SO wanna have sex with her. AND she has multiple poonani piercings. That would be another first for me. I've never had sex with somebody that has her woo-woo pierced. WOW! That would be so kewl. And as we were talking I kept thinking about all these things. Here I am, supposed to be interviewing her for a photo job and all I could think about was having sex with her. So, I tried to get my mind back to the business at hand - her hands... OMG, her hands are so small. I could just imagine her hands on my dick. They would make my dick look so big - LOL. I hired her on the spot and a week later we were shooting.
 

Blogger Babe - Ruby

My partner, Big Lou, and I photographed Ruby by herself. We then photographed "Sabrine" by herself. And we photographed the two girls together. For the single girl pics we did lingerie, masturbation, schoolgirl, cheerleader, Geisha, amateur, voyeur, etc.. And for the girl/girl pics we shot schoolgirl, amateur and lots of pics near and in a pool. Yup, we even shot a roll underwater - that was so kewl. The shoot really was a lot of fun. And even after an entire day of shooting, I didn't want it to end. But, like all good things, it did!

Since then, Ruby and I have remained in touch and have also done a few more photo shoots together - both adult and non-adult artistic. Ruby is easy to work with and she's very willing to experiment and try new things (with photography). And yes, I have touched every itty bitty part of her body. EVERY PART!!! - "Professionally" that is - hehehe. We've exchanged massages, have had a few dinners together, talked and have become good friends. But no, we've never had sex. She has a boyfriend! Dang!
 

Blogger Babes - Sabrine Maui and Ruby
China Dolls

If you want to see more of Ruby (& Sabrine), check out "China Dolls," "Authentic Asian Lesbians," "Authentic Asian Amateur," "Authentic Asian Voyeur," "Cheerleaders & Teens in Uniform," "Sex Safari," "UpSkirt Voyeur," "Mega-Voyeur," "Itty Bitty Tittys," ""REAL" Amateur Women & Teens," "Asian Teens in Lingerie," "Vittoria's Lingerie," "Nude Amateur Women," "Asian Teens in Lingerie," "Prep School Sluts," "Victory Girls!," "Kissing Pussy"," and of course - "Triple X Cams."
.

posted by: Neo ©
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Always Looking for Girls, Girls, Girls to Photograph!

I'm shooting a lot right now and I'm deffo looking for girls to photograph, so... If you're female, OVER 18 YEARS OF AGE, in the LA area, very cute and/or good looking and/or HOT, and are interested in posing nude for my websites, your own websites, for fun or just for some nice artistic photographs, please e-mail me with a description of yourself and a URL address where I can see a photo of you. If you're what I'm looking for, then you'll deffo hear back from me :o)

Please DO NOT send photos or files attached to your e-mails. They will be deleted!
.

posted by: Neo ©
.
 

Looking for Adult Artists & Writers

If you're an artist and/or writer and would like to have your work featured here on Sex Blogger or one of my other Adult Story or Cartoon Sites: "Sex-Fi. Erotic Sci-Fi & Horror Sex Stories," "Cuntoons," "Pregnant Comix," "Erotic Pregnant & Plumper Stories," "Sex Tales of the Old West," "Triple X Toons," "Kinky Komix," "Illustrated Erotica" or one of the new Erotic Story or Adult Cartoon sites that I'm building, then please feel free to e-mail me with a SHORT sample of your writing or a URL address where I can see your work. As far as subject matter goes, I'm really interested in erotic Sci-Fi, Horror, Gothic, War and Crime stories and/or artwork in the same genera's. I'm also interested in material that is unique unto itself. If you send me a short sample of your writing, please spell check and proof read it before submitting it. I know that I'm not the best with grammar, but if your sample is full of misspelled words and the grammar and punctuation are noticeably worse than mine, it won't even be considered. :o)

Please, DO NOT send photos or files attached to your e-mails. They will be deleted!
.

posted by: Neo ©
.
 

Comments & Opinions

I would love to hear from you. Please e-mail me with your comments, opinions and/or any suggestions you may have regarding Sex Blogger.
.

posted by: Neo ©
.

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