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Saturday, December 13, 2003

Christmas Cartoons

Friday, December 12, 2003

Christmas Story - "A Christmas Angel "

     Kaitlin and I had been married for just a couple of years when our sex life started going downhill along with our income.  I had lost the good job that I landed right out of college, but I had managed to find work just two weeks before Christmas.  While it wasn't bad enough that it didn't pay nearly as well as my old one did, but it also meant that I had to work the graveyard shift as well.

     On Christmas morning I came home tired, sweaty, and feeling a little inadequate because all I had to give my honey was a box of chocolates.  Opening the door, I found Kaitlin kneeling on the floor, almost naked.  All she was wearing was the dog collar, and ankle and wrist cuffs that we sometimes play around with.  Resting between her bright lips was a folded sheet of paper . . .  Reaching down and pulling the paper out of her mouth, this is what I found: 
 

Dear Sean, 

     For Christmas I'm giving you me!  I really miss those days in college when you would be so turned on that you simply could not wait.  You would call me your "angel," and drag me into a handy closet, or bathroom (any place that was a little private), and fuck me so good.  Or you would have me suck you off, and I would have to be careful to swallow it all, so that it did not stain my dress . . .  Those were the days - the days that I want back! 

     Do you remember that "fishing" trip that we took with your fraternity brothers?  The one where there were supposed to be four couples, and all of the girls chickened - except for me?  It turned into the most intense sex party that I've ever been to . . .  You wouldn't let me get dressed that whole weekend, which meant that I got a nice all-over tan out of the deal.  And that was first time that I ever had two guys at once.  What a wonderful weekend!  I walked funny for a week afterwards!  The girls that didn't go wouldn't talk to me for a long time, either. 

     Tell me, "Angel, get your ass over here so that I can fuck it," and I'll be bent over, spreading my cheeks wide open for you baby.  Tell me, "Angel, give that trucker a show," and I'll be stripping out of my clothes, and pinching my nipples to make them hard.  Tell your friends to call me "Angel" and I'll be on my knees with my mouth wide open - ready to suck their long cocks better than any whore that they ever bought on the street.  Yet, the best part is . . .  I'll be doing it for you! 

     "Angel" will be our code word to put me into "slut mode," where I'll do ANYTHING that you tell me to do . . . expose myself in public . . . suck your friends off . . . fuck you in a parking lot . . .  whatever it is that you want . . .  whatever it is that you desire . . .  I will do it just for you . . .  Just because you called me "Angel!" 

     With all of my love, 

Kaitlin 
 

     I was floored!  Never in my wildest dreams had I ever imagined anything like this!  I looked down at her and noticed that she was trembling.  My darling was afraid that I would be unhappy, which of course I wasn't.  In fact, there was only one thing that I could think of doing with a gift like that right then, and that was use it. 

     "Angel, use your mouth to unfasten my pants."  Leaning into my crotch, she grasped my belt in her teeth and gently puled it out of the buckle.  The button gave her a bit of trouble, but she was finally able to get it undone.  She then pulled down my zipper, and pulled my pants down.  If there is any sight more erotic than watching your slut's teeth work the buttons and belt of your pants, I don't know what it is.  "Now take my cock out, and get me hard."  Never taking her hands from her knees, or her eyes from mine, she moved forward just enough to capture my cock with her pretty lips. She slowly worked it around her mouth, getting it very wet, chewing gently, until it was hard enough to actually begin fucking it with her mouth.  Man, did she look good!  Her bright red lips were stretched over my member, spreading lipstick up and down the invader in her face, her bright eyes locked upon mine as she worked hard to give me great pleasure. 

     Once I was really hard - harder than I had been in a very long time - I stroked the side of her cock engorged face and said, "Angel, I'm going to fuck your ass.  Turn around and stick it up here."  Immediately she spun around, and assumed the position, with her ass high and her cheeks spread wide.  I lined myself up and soon discovered that she had already lubed herself in preparation for me.  I slid easily into her tight, firm ass.  I could feel the whole length of my cock being gripped by her body, her muscular ring gripping me really hard.  She moaned, and started to convulse with her orgasm. 

     As she came, she brought me with her and I dumped my cum deep inside of her ass, giving her a sperm enema.  I then withdrew with a loud *POP,* looking down at my brown-streaked member.  "Angel, we have dirtied my cock."  Just as I said that, she spun around and lovingly began to lick her shit off of my cock.  That is when I knew for certain that she really meant what she had written.  She would do any depraved thing that I could think of . . .  She was ready to take my load of cum anywhere I put it . . .  She was ready to do anything that I asked of her, and I could hardly wait!
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Thursday, December 11, 2003

News Flash

LONDON (Reuters) - Wanted: women to test new orgasm machine.

No, really. An American surgeon who has patented a device that triggers an orgasm has begun a clinical trial approved by the Food and Drug Administration in the United States and is looking for female volunteers. 

"I thought people would be beating my door down to become part of the trial," pain specialist Dr Stuart Meloy told New Scientist magazine on Wednesday. 

But so far only one woman has completed the first stage of the trial, with apparently breathtaking results, and a second has agreed to take part. 

Meloy, of Piedmont Anesthesia and Pain Consultants in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, is hoping to find eight more volunteers willing to have electrodes inserted in their spine and be connected to a pacemaker-size machine implanted under the skin to heighten their sexual pleasure. 

The married woman who tested the machine, dubbed an orgasmatron, had not had an orgasm for four years. But during the nine days she used it, she had several. 

"She even told me she had the first multiple orgasm of her life using the device," said Meloy. 

He stumbled on the unexpected side-effect while using a spinal cord stimulator a few years ago to treat a patient suffering with severe back pain. The woman had already had back surgery for degenerative disk disease and fusion surgery. 

When Meloy placed the electrodes into a specific spot on her spine to find nerve bundles carrying pain signals to the brain, she moaned with delight. 

"You're going to have to teach my husband how to do that," he quoted her as saying. 

The tiny impulses of electricity applied to the electrodes seemed to have turned on the patient's orgasm button. 

Although the device has been compared to the orgasmatron featured in the 1973 Woody Allen film "Sleeper," Meloy envisions patients using it temporarily to retrain their sexual response. 

The women in the trial described it as "really excellent foreplay." 

Although some medical experts are skeptical about the procedure and say a vibrator can produce the same results, Meloy believes it could help to improve sexual response in women who cannot have orgasms and might even help men as well. 

A full implant of the device would cost about 13,000 pounds ($22,000). 

"I don't see it any differently from procedures such as breast implants," Meloy told the magazine. 
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UpDates & Reviews

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Wednesday, December 10, 2003

And So It Goes - Give Man a Ball

     Today, I defend men. Typically, I refrain from doing so because men are, as a rule of thumb, pigs. The expression “rule of thumb” comes from a time when a man was considered discreet to beat his family with a switch no wider than his thumb.

     What do you get when you combine “man” and “men”? Mean! Just the same, I have witnessed an injustice in the way men are treated and must address it here. I am talking about the flack men take for watching sports.

     Ladies, men need sports. It isn't just a pastime or trifling indulgence; it is a real, live need like eating or sleeping or peeing in the bushes. Yes, it is quite like peeing in the bushes. You see, men are more similar to dogs than they are to, say, angels. When a man sees a ball in flight, he must stop to observe. It would be painful on a molecular level for him to refrain. Like dogs, man is mesmerized by the projectile. So long as there is a ball in motion, he's happy.

     A man is equally content watching a golf ball as he is watching a basketball as he is watching a shuttlecock. Well, badminton hasn't come into its own yet. Someone tied a ribbon to the back of the ball. Much too frou-frou. 

     So long as a ball or ball-like object is in play, a man cannot be expected to function normally. The actual game being played is immaterial. I've watched cricket for hours and still don't know what they're trying to accomplish. That both sides want to win is enough for me. If I were sufficiently desperate, I'd watch competitive Tiddlywinks, especially if the players were permitted to shout between tiddles.

     As a hockey nut, I am hypnotized by the puck, a flattened version of a ball designed to slide on ice. Because ice is not indigenous to California, the puck hasn't gained the acclaim of a basketball or baseball, but just you wait. I've been awake at 3 a.m. watching hockey, eyes red, head empty, three hours from reporting to work, and totally unable to stop. I'm like Superman in the presence of Kryptonite—Need help...Can’t stop...watching...hockey...

     I've had hockey binges whereby I videotape several games and watch them in order. My therapist says that I shouldn't binge on hockey because I don't need to fear future hockey deprivation. If I'm not careful, he's going to commit me to Puckheads Anonymous. So it goes.

     I don't know how the afterlife bodes for a man when he knows more about Derek Jeter's batting average than he does the 9 or 10 Commandments; but his need to know that batting average is every bit as real as his need to lay down at the end of the day. And if there is something wrong with that, then there's something wrong with his basic physical constitution.

     “A-ha,” says woman. “Now we're getting somewhere.”

     When a man feels like he is missing an important game, he grows nervous and fidgety like a cocaine junky. It isn't right. Whatever he is doing is less meaningful than his need to know the score. And who scored. And the looks on the other players faces when he scored. If a man is kept from sports long enough, he will develop hives or, worse yet, join a bridge club.

     Having laid this foundation, ladies, it is only fair that you give man his ball. It's silly, I know. No matter who wins the championship, no matter who drinks from the Holy Grail, it will all start over again next season.

     Granted, there are chores he should do first. The grass won't cut itself, the kids can't drive themselves to practice, and the dinner fairy isn't going to leave food on the table. But barring these needs, I beseech you, as representative for the unsophisticated male creature who knows what it means to be entranced by a ball in flight, cut your man a little slack. Let him watch the ball fly around for a while. Let him participate in the tribal ceremony because it is, for him, drama of the highest order and a necessary evil of having two X-chromosomes.

     And when the game is over, he'll return to you fresh and invigorated. He will be grateful that you allowed him that simple excursion from his workaday grind, and he'll be ready to do whatever you ask of him. Unless, of course, there are a bunch of men on TV talking about sports, in which case you'll probably lose him again.
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Tuesday, December 9, 2003

Snow Balls
 

Monday, December 8, 2003

Monday Toons

Sunday, December 7, 2003

Blogger Babe - Andrea - "Classic" Blonde Bombshell

Andrea is a 23 year old, 5'8, 125 lb Hungarian Babe with long blonde hair, big boobs, long (wrap-around-me) legs, great ass, shaved pussy (with a little landing-strip of blonde hair), a beautiful smile and an very thick (can't hardly understand what the hell she is saying) accent. Let's face it, she's the "Classic" Blonde Bombshell - (see this week's Blogger Babe Pic).

Andrea got my name through an agent and called me to set up an interview. The phone conversation was quite amusing, because I could not understand who she was, what she wanted or why she was calling me. But, since I'm a sucker for a girl with an accent and this was deffo a girl with an accent, I took my time and finally figured out (after some interpreter guy friend of hers got on the phone and told me why she was calling) that this thick-accented girl wanted to pose nude for me. Before even meting her, because she sounded so sexy, I almost hired her over the phone. But then, flashing through my mind, came all the images from CNN, National Geographic, etc., etc. and all I could imagine was that I was talking to a fat, squatty woman with a scarf on her head, missing teeth and a thick mustache that matched her thick accent. I set up an interview.

Andrea (and her interpreter guy friend) showed up for the interview and even before she could finish introducing herself, I had almost blurted out "Your hired!" Now, if you're an avid reader of Sex Blogger, you already know that I'm deffo into tiny Asians, but here this long legged blonde struts into my office and all of a sudden, I forget all about my Asian fetish and start thinking about mingling juices with this Hungarian Hottie. I hire her and a week later we're shooting.

Not including all the flirting, smiling and trying to communicate what I wanted her to do, the shoot went really quick. In just a couple of hours we shot 8 rolls of film at two different locations. We shot Andrea in pajamas, on the bed masturbating, in the shower, on a couch and also working out with exercise equipment; you know, like all girls do - in the nude. We also shot some digital voyeur pics of her masturbating while she watched TV.

After the shoot, we talked (if you can call it that) on the phone a few times and then she came over (with her guy friend interpreter) to look at the photos. It was at this time that I realized that he was more than just a friend. They were dating! Dang! But he certainly didn't seem to mind the way she flirted with me, so I certainly didn't hold back my flirting either. But that's as far as it went - just flirting. She liked the pics, gave me a hug and kiss and then left.

A few weeks later she called and invited me to her birthday party - telling me to bring a few friends because there was going to be lots of pretty models at the party. I grabbed a few friends and we went to the party - hoping to hook up with some hot models. But of course, when you get your hopes up, it never works out. We arrived fashionably late and there was only one pretty model, and that was Andrea... As a matter of fact, she was the only female at the party. The rest of the party-goers were guys - about fifteen of them. And all sitting around (with lust in their eyes), looking at Andrea as she paraded around, stoned out of her mind. At least she was having a good time. Knowing that it wasn't going to get any better, my friends and I wished Andrea a Happy Birthday and left.

I have no idea what happened to her since then. I tried calling her a few times, but her number was disconnected. Oh well, I like tiny Asian girls anyway... :o)

If you want to see more of Andrea, check out "'REAL' Amateur Women & Teens," "100% American Amateurs," "Teen Pajama Party," "Vittoria's Lingerie," "Mega Voyeur," "Victory Girls!" and... and... Oh my... As I'm writing this, I'm just now realizing that these are the only sites I've put Andrea on. Dang, what an idiot I am - LOL. I have tons of pics of her and I haven't even used them yet. Oh well... I guess I'll be building some more new sites. So, needless to say, be on the lookout for MORE pics of Andrea. Coming soon to an Adult Website Near You...
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Always Looking for Girls, Girls, Girls to Photograph!

I'm shooting a lot right now and I'm deffo looking for girls to photograph, so... If you're female, OVER 18 YEARS OF AGE, in the LA area, very cute and/or good looking and/or HOT, and are interested in posing nude for my websites, your own websites, for fun or just for some nice artistic photographs, please e-mail me with a description of yourself and a URL address where I can see a photo of you. If you're what I'm looking for, then you'll deffo hear back from me :o)

Please DO NOT send photos or files attached to your e-mails. They will be deleted!
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Looking for Adult Artists & Writers

If you're an artist and/or writer and would like to have your work featured here on Sex Blogger or one of my other Adult Story or Cartoon Sites: "Sex-Fi. Erotic Sci-Fi & Horror Sex Stories," "Cuntoons," "Pregnant Comix," "Erotic Pregnant & Plumper Stories," "Sex Tales of the Old West," "Triple X Toons," "Kinky Komix," "Illustrated Erotica" or one of the new Erotic Story or Adult Cartoon sites that I'm building, then please feel free to e-mail me with a SHORT sample of your writing or a URL address where I can see your work. As far as subject matter goes, I'm really interested in erotic Sci-Fi, Horror, Gothic, War and Crime stories and/or artwork in the same genera's. I'm also interested in material that is unique unto itself. If you send me a short sample of your writing, please spell check and proof read it before submitting it. I know that I'm not the best with grammar, but if your sample is full of misspelled words and the grammar and punctuation are noticeably worse than mine, it won't even be considered. :o)

Please, DO NOT send photos or files attached to your e-mails. They will be deleted!
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