Archived
January 11, 2004 - January 17, 2004
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Friday, January 16, 2004

Friday Funnies - Gangsta Bitch Barbie

Disclaimer - This is a Humorous Parody and is in no way meant to soil the good name, image or reputation of Barbie.
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Thursday, January 15, 2004

UpDates & Reviews

"Triple X Toons" - Anime, manga and hentai galleries with hundreds of XXX adult cartoons, comix, hot 3D pictures, illustrated stories and more!

"Triple X Toons" is a sexy hardcore toon site. Not only does it feature anime & hentai from today's top artist, but it also has tons of adult cartoons, comix, 3D babes and illustrated stories. Plain and simple, this site is Hot. The outside splash pages are bright, colorful, fast loading and very enticing. In addition to the main splash page and sign-up page there is a four page tour to give you an idea of what  you'll find in the members area. But keep in mind, these tour pages are softcore - not like the type of hardcore toons that are on the inside. I'm deffo trying to give surfers a little more for their money with this site. Inside there are seven galleries (updated monthly) of rare anime & hentai pictures, 3D babes, triple X adult cartoons, comic strips, animated gif's and lots more. Dang, what more could you want? The design of the members area is good. It's clean, it loads quick and it's very easy to navigate. Of course there's no annoying pop-ups, no consoles, no entrapments, no hidden links, and, banner advertising is kept to a strict minimal. Let's face it, it's how all sites should be - very surfer friendly, tons of bishoujo (beautiful girl), hentai, lesbians, bondage, stories, comics and other sexy toons. AND, to make it even better - "Triple X Toons" is a  "CyberSex Prestige Plus Site" site - which means it's a high quality site with tons of extras like free access to thousands of other adult sites, free adult movies, live chat, live cam feeds, live sex shows, exclusive pictorials and videos, personal ads, a CyberSex newsletter and much, much more. Give it a click and let me know what you think.

"Kissing Pussy" - Hardcore galleries of sexy lesbian babes licking, kissing and eating sweet pussy. Plus XXX movies, live chat and more.

"Kissing Pussy" is a CyberAge Platinum site. There are six galleries with over 300 photos of hot lesbian babes. Yeah, I know, this site is a lot like my other lesbian site - "Teen Twins." The design is the same and I do use a lot of the same girls in the galleries, but, there are a lot of new and different lesbians in "Kissing Pussy" and they're not all twins. A few of the galleries are of really hot Asian schoolgirl lesbians - WOW! And just like "Teen Twins," I really like the site. Did I mention the Asian schoolgirls? :o) Anyway, the site is easy to navigate, fairly quick loading and there are tons of hot & sexy lesbian babes kissing, licking and eating sweet pussy. And of course, it's updated monthly. I shot all the pics of the Asian Lesbians (hehehehe) and some of the pics in the other galleries, but the rest, I licensed from an image broker. And, because "Kissing Pussy" is a CyberAge Platinum site, if you become a member, you also get free access to over 300,000 other adult sites, free adult movies (over 50,000), live chat, live cam feeds, live sex shows, exclusive pictorials and videos, personal ads and much, much more. No shit! You really do get all of that! So check it out and let me know what you think.

"Cuntoons" - Features X-rated adult cartoons, illustrated erotica, 3D animation, flash movies, anime, hentai and more.

I added a bunch of completely new galleries this month - some really kewl 3D Galleries, new illustrated erotica, BRAND NEW CARTOONS and a few really dark and violent comic stories. Not for the faint of heart, but deffo worth a look :o)

"Cuntoons" is one of my favorite sites. It's a little different from my other sites - whereas there are no real models - it's all cartoons. I love the look of the site and (of course) it's surfer friendly and easy to navigate. The site has many galleries of 3D computer generated babes, illustrated erotica, galleries of cartoons and, last but not least, a flash movie. All of which is updated monthly. "Cuntoons" is also a "CyberAge Platinum" site. So if you're into 3D babes, cartoons, adult comix, etc., then this is a great site to check out.

"Teen Twins"- Hardcore galleries of sexy lesbian twin sisters. Paternal, fraternal and some sexy girls that just look alike. Plus XXX movies, live chat and more.

"Teen Twins" is a CyberSex Prestige PLUS site. There are six galleries with over 300 photos of hot lesbian twins (or some girls that just alike). I really like the site. Of course, I love the babes on the site; there're some really sexy ones. And to make it even better, they're twins. They're not just twins, they're lesbian twins. Well actually not all of them are twins. Some are just hot lesbians that look alike... So,  Shhhhh, don't tell anybody. Let's keep it our little secret - LOL. Anyway, I like the design of the site. Of course I do... I designed it - LOL. Aside from the aesthetics, it's easy to navigate, fairly quick loading and did I mention - tons of hot & sexy lesbian babes kissing pussy. And of course, it's updated monthly. I shot some of the pics, but the majority, I licensed from an image broker. And because "Teen Twins" is a CyberSex Prestige PLUS site you also get free access to thousands of other adult sites, free adult movies, live chat, live cam feeds, live sex shows, exclusive pictorials and videos, personal ads and much, much more. Check it out and let me know what you think.
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Wednesday, January 14, 2004

And So It Goes - The Bomb

     Most people shy away from the stage because they don't want to be criticized. Afraid to hazard their self-esteem, they withhold their talents and linger forever in the wings.

     Man, are they smart.

     I have written standup comedy for as long as I can remember. No one ever asked me to do it. It just happens.

     Having amassed 22 coffee cans of notes, I decided it was time to do something about it. I registered for a comedy class at the L.A. Cabaret (now known as “that place that used to smell like urine”) and readied myself for the big time.

     I presented my humor to the other students, who laughed maniacally. Not at the jokes but at my gall to tell them. Over the next 8 weeks, my teacher massaged the humor into something bearable, and I practiced around the clock.

     By night, I rehearsed into a hairbrush in the living room. The cats loved me. On the freeway, I spoke into a Tootsie Pop. The other drivers thought I was crazy. If they only knew.

     Each time I practiced, my routine got better. In fact, “routine” is a silly word for something that is always changing. When I knew my act like the back of my Tootsie Pop, I took it to a club called Hornblowers. The owner recognized the hunger in my eyes and said, “For free, right?”

     That Saturday, I arrived at the club 10 hours early (in case of traffic). The club was empty. I took the stage and did my done-to-death act for an imaginary audience. People were rolling in the aisles, begging me to stop for the sake of their hernias.

     I finished my make-believe set and handed the mike to my make-believe host. The people roared their approval. Everything went as I had hoped.

     Touching down in reality, I walked offstage to the sound of my own footsteps.

     People filed into the theater in high spirits. They were ready for a professional belly laugh. After an eternity, they announced my name and I went up. All those years of dabbling had culminated at this moment. I took a deep breath. Remember the advice of your teacher, Jason: Don't bomb.

     As the opening act, I introduced myself as the young soldier you send up the mountain to see where the bullets are coming from. A woman chuckled, bless her heart. A man cleared his throat. Did they not understand the joke?

     I elaborated by comparing myself to a native forced to eat unknown berries.

     [Injun voice]: “Jason, tell us if these berries are edible.”

     Nothin’. Everyone stared at me with tilted heads like so many RCA dogs. They wondered who I was to kill their buzz like that.

     Okay. Plan B.

     I tried a skit about “no swimming” signs at the beach. I was, after all, performing in front of a heavily polluted harbor. I timed the punch line and sold it for all it was worth: “Of course, the police tracked us down pretty easily...we were glowing.”

     Glowing? Get it. Glowing.

     My voice echoed off the far wall and returned like a lost traveler. The audience watched me cross-armed and stony-faced. Generally, people don't hate me until they get to know me. I shifted uneasily, wondering if my clothes were wrong. The crowd smelled my doubt as might a dog. An RCA dog.

     I was officially bombing.

     I tried a bit about creating an express lane at the Mexican border for “really white people.” A bald man ordered his drink over my punch line. A Hispanic woman heard it just the same and vowed revenge on behalf of her people. So it goes.

     I tried to crack the tension: “When I told that joke to my cats this morning, it killed.”

     The club owner laughed in the wings.

     A poison spilled over me, hot and syrupy. I had not only put my foot in my mouth, but I couldn't get it out. “Embarrassed” would have felt cozy at this point.

     Against the counsel of my teacher, I began to rush the material in my effort to get offstage. The more I rushed, the more I killed the funny.

     Finally, an intoxicated gentleman, three teeth short of a set, yelled, “Someone lookin’ for his momma.”

     He had stepped on my breaking point.

     “Sir, if you let these feelings out when you're sober, they wouldn't be so ugly when you're drunk...”

     “I am sober!”

     “Then may I suggest speech class.”

     A guy at Table 2 chuckled to cover the discomfort. It was my best reaction yet. We had arrived at that moment in the Western when the bad guy is challenged to a duel and the others duck for cover. I think I was the bad guy. A red light blinked at the back of the room. My time was up. Or was it a mercy light?

     I dismissed the heckler and finished with a number about Clint Black being white and Barry White being black and Prince being neither, but even I wasn't listening. The words went straight from my mouth to comedy hell. I handed the mike to the emcee and walked offstage to the sound of my own footsteps.

     That night marked a milestone in my life. It was a defining moment from which I have nowhere to go but up. Now, when I cross an embarrassing moment in my life, I say, “What are you going to do, ridicule me in public?” I've been there. I have been tarred and feathered and hung on display for you to mock. I am free.
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Tuesday, January 13, 2004

Blonde Jokes

Q - What do you call a nude blonde standing on her head?
A - A brunette with bad breath.

Two brunettes and a blonde are in the hospital awaiting the arrival of their first children.
1st brunette: "I just know I'm going to have a girl, 'cuz I conceived while I was on my back".
2nd brunette: "Mine's going to be a boy, 'cuz I was on top during conception".
Blonde: "Uh-oh! I'm going to have a puppy!"

A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively "How do you give shoulders?"

A blonde was walking on one side of the river and a brunette on the other. The brunette yells across to the blonde, "Hey, how do I get to the other side?" The blonde hesitates, looks back and replies, "You ARE on the other side!"

A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends. 
Brunette: Last night I had three orgasms in a row! 
Blonde: That's nothing, last night I had over a hundred. 
Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good. 
Blonde: (shocked ) Oh, you meant with one guy.

One morning this blonde called her boyfriend and said "Please come over and help me. I have this awesome jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to start it."
Her boyfriend asked "What is it a puzzle of?"
The blonde said, "From the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
The blonde's boyfriend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him where she has the pieces spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then he studies the box.
He then turns to her and says: "First, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these pieces to look like the picture of that tiger. Second, I'd advise you to relax, have a cup of coffee,
and put all of these Frosted Flakes back in the box."

A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly "Awww, look at the dead birdie". The blonde stops, looks up and says "Where?" 

A young brunette went into a doctor's office, complaining that her body hurt all over.
"Try to be specific," said the Doctor.
The maiden took her finger and pushed on her elbow, then let out an agonized yelp. She touched her knee and produced a blood-curdling scream. Finally, the girl pressed on her ankle and passed out from the pain.
When she came to, the doctor asked, "Are you really a brunette?"
"No," she winced, "I'm actually a blonde."
"That is what I thought," the physician smirked. "Your finger is broken."
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Monday, January 12, 2004

Monday Toons

Sunday, January 11, 2004

Blogger Babe - Maia

Maia is a 19 year old, 5'7, 118 lb Latina Hottie. She has nice natural tits with big round nipples, long legs, a really great ass, a completely shaved pussy, beautiful sultry-brown eyes (that you can just lose yourself in), an innocent smile, nice lips and really great, medium length reddish-brown hair (see this week's Blogger Babe Pic).

I don't remember if Maia came to us through an agency or an ad, but I do remember that she showed up for the interview and did not leave for hours and hours. We talked about all kinds of things and got to know each other - no, not sexually - Though I certainly wouldn't have minded... She does have a great ass... And those eyes... Mmmm... Anyway, we really hit it off. I was looking for a Latina babe to shoot and after talking with her, I knew that she'd be good to work with. I hired her for a shoot the following week.

Maia showed up for the shoot on-time and was just a pleasure to work with. Between all the flirting, laughing and having fun, we actually got a lot of work done. In about four hours, we did six different set-ups at two different locations including: two voyeur set-ups, a shower scene where she shaves her pussy, a masturbation scene on a couch, a masturbation scene on bed and an exterior flashing scene.

After the shoot, we stayed in touch for a while, got together a few times, hung out, had dinner, etc, etc.. Like almost every other adult model, we talked about doing some more work together, but never did. And after a while, like almost every other adult model, we just lost touch. Since then, I've seen her on a few other adult websites, but have not seen nor talked to her in person.

If you want to see more of Maia, check out "Mega-Voyeur," "Nude Latina Teens," "REAL Amateur Women & Teens," "Teen Shower Cam," "Shower Cam Voyeur," "Teen Pussy Snatch Shots," "Nude Amateur Women," "South of the Border Babes," "Sex Safari," "Vittoria's Lingerie," and "Victory Girls - Nude Women of the World."
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Always Looking for Girls, Girls, Girls to Photograph!

I'm shooting a lot right now and I'm deffo looking for girls to photograph, so... If you're female, OVER 18 YEARS OF AGE, in the LA area, very cute and/or good looking and/or HOT, and are interested in posing nude for my websites, your own websites, for fun or just for some nice artistic photographs, please e-mail me with a description of yourself and a URL address where I can see a photo of you. If you're what I'm looking for, then you'll deffo hear back from me :o)

Please DO NOT send photos or files attached to your e-mails. They will be deleted!
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Looking for Adult Artists & Writers

If you're an artist and/or writer and would like to have your work featured here on Sex Blogger or one of my other Adult Story or Cartoon Sites: "Sex-Fi. Erotic Sci-Fi & Horror Sex Stories," "Cuntoons," "Pregnant Comix," "Erotic Pregnant & Plumper Stories," "Sex Tales of the Old West," "Triple X Toons," "Kinky Komix," "Illustrated Erotica" or one of the new Erotic Story or Adult Cartoon sites that I'm building, then please feel free to e-mail me with a SHORT sample of your writing or a URL address where I can see your work. As far as subject matter goes, I'm really interested in erotic Sci-Fi, Horror, Gothic, War and Crime stories and/or artwork in the same genera's. I'm also interested in material that is unique unto itself. If you send me a short sample of your writing, please spell check and proof read it before submitting it. I know that I'm not the best with grammar, but if your sample is full of misspelled words and the grammar and punctuation are noticeably worse than mine, it won't even be considered. :o)

Please, DO NOT send photos or files attached to your e-mails. They will be deleted!
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Comments & Opinions

I would love to hear from you. Please e-mail me with your comments, opinions and/or any suggestions you may have regarding Sex Blogger.
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